Ups and downs

Every time I have sat down to write during the past couple of weeks, something has interrupted. The first attempt began “we saw two movies.” A few days later I picked it up and changed that to “three movies.” And now, during the past month, we have seen four movies!

The first was “Little Girl Blue,” a documentary about the life of Janis Joplin that received a 93% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I cannot even imagine how much work it was to compile all those film clips and conduct all those interviews. After all, she lived a short (27 years) and turbulent life that seldom seemed anything even close to what we might call happy. I wondered at the end whether it was a suicide or an accident. There was no note left, so it is hard to say for sure. Clearly she was a troubled human being but maybe there could have been some chance to learn to live with her self. In choosing whether to be angry with her for depriving us of her talent and to feel sorry for her for her unhappiness, I want to choose the latter.

The second movie, “The Big Short,” which received a rating of 86% on Rotten Tomatoes, was not one I expected to appreciate, knowing little as I do about high finance. True to expectations, I have to admit right up front that I did not fully understand what was going on, although I think the filmmaker did a very good job of having minor characters stepping out of their roles and speaking directly to the audience to explain some of the details of the financial goings on. But if asked I would still be unable to explain a credit default swap! Even without that level of understanding, what was clear was that during the early 2000s the top executives of major banks had figured out a seemingly clever, albeit ultimately immoral if not illegal, way to amass large amounts of money, until some clever colleagues beat them at their own game and brought the economy crashing down. Of course there was quite a bit of collateral damage, with millions of people losing most of their nest eggs, but those at the top seemed to remain largely unscathed.

Four characters were at the core of the story. Michael Barry (played by Christian Bale) was a sort of counterculture fund manager, a genius who listened to his own drummer, working long, irregular hours in shorts and t-shirts and flip-flops. Mark Baum (Steve Carell) was a Wall Streeter who had become disillusioned, even miserably angry, with pretty much everything while insisting that he still loved his job. Two lesser known actors played roles of a couple of young guys trying to break in to the financial world.

This is not a story to be taken lightly because although there was surely poetic license in the details, many people did lose significant portions of the sums they had worked hard to accumulate to allow them a comfortable retirement and perhaps leave some to their children and grandchildren.

The third movie was “Carol,” which received a 94% approval. Set in the early 1950s, Cate Blanchett plays a young wife and mother who is trying to juggle her seemingly charmed life as a well-off wife and mother. Her husband really does seem to love her, and in her way she loves him, but she is no longer able to deny something she probably knew even before they married, that she prefers being with women. Their situation is more complicated because they have a young daughter whom they both adore. Watching this film is a stark reminder of how much things have changed over the past fifty years, a relatively short period of time in the larger scheme of things. The movie makes no effort to sugar-coat the reality, and there is no grand happy ending here. We do not follow this couple and their young daughter into the future, but despite having two parents who truly did strive for her well-being, she has almost undoubtedly struggled.

One last movie was somewhat less well received, with an approval of only 73%: “Youth.” The story follows two retired men in their 70s, artists and long term friends who have moved into a beautiful resort in the Alps.  Fred (Michael Caine) is a classical composer while Mick (Harvey Keitel) is a filmmaker. Fred’s daughter Lena (Rachel Weisz) comes to stay with her father following the sudden breakup of her engagement. Mick is surrounded by a bunch of young screenwriters working on what he plans will be the highlight of his long career. Jane Fonda has a small role as the actress who is to play the lead in that film. Our initial scan of A.O. Scott’s review in the New York Times seemed positive, but I went back this morning and read the entire review to find he did note weaknesses, and I do not disagree with what he had to say. Having said that, I think it is worth seeing just to observe Michael Caine’s performance. He is an actor who has literally been all over the map with various types of roles over many years, and he has taken on this one with great skill and sensitivity. He was also featured in a charming and thoughtful piece on CBS Sunday Morning this week.

This past weekend was somewhat bittersweet. Our friend Hilary, whose husband died nearly two months ago, has a son and daughter-in-law who live in Riverdale and just welcomed their first child into the world. The Brit Mila (ritual circumcision) was on Thursday morning. Since the couple has a small apartment, we invited Hilary and another one of her sons along with his wife to stay here with us for the weekend. It turned out that the three of them ate most of their meals at the young couple’s apartment, but it was nice for them to have a comfortable place to sleep, and nice for us to have time to chat over breakfast. We look forward to seeing more of Hilary over the coming months.

When visiting mourners, many traditional Jewish people will say “we should only see each other for simchas (happy occasions),” or “you should know no more suffering.” Rabbi Weiss has often pointed out that these are unreasonable wishes, because every life has its ups and downs. This past weekend was an especially stark example. Barry (may he rest in peace) was certainly looking forward to this new grandchild, so although there was an awareness of his absence, I believe little Caleb had the joyful party he deserved!

We did make it over to the New York Botanical Garden for the annual Holiday Train Show. Every year this exhibit is more and more extensive. This year they had a replica of the main building of the Botanical Garden that was quite a sight.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may remember that a couple of years ago we took our oldest grandchild to Disney World for five days at the happiest place in the world. Although we have had some delays and gotten a bit off schedule, we are getting back on track over the winter break with our second oldest, Eliana. After our Joshua trip, at the end of June, we decided not to go back there in the summer. We know it will be crowded there but this was a good time for her. Even in just these couple of years so many things have changed, with each visitor’s information stored in a wrist band. We were able to go on line many weeks ago and schedule some of the busiest rides, which should help us avoid trying to run (or, in my case, scooter) back and forth too many times.  

This warm weather makes it hard to think about winter holidays. Let us just stay healthy and enjoy the time off with families and friends.

Love,

Rebecca

Who knows where the time goes?

Can today really be the 9^th of December? My last post was on the 30^th of November, and that feels like it was just yesterday. I guess that is what being busy really means!

After our busy Thanksgiving weekend, we had planned to stay in New York this past weekend. Somehow, we had failed to realize that Maya had an important event at school on Friday, at which each of the 2^nd graders receive their Chumash (what is known as The Five Books of Moses). The hope is that this will plant the seeds for a lifetime of Jewish learning and community.

Maya had one of the lead roles in the play that the class put on, with quite a few lines that she delivered flawlessly. She is petite but she has a certain presence and no trouble making herself heard. Exhausting as it all was, we are glad we were able to be there and celebrate with her, her parents, and both sets of her grandparents together. A couple of pictures are here.

Here is a quick picture of our grandchildren taken the first night of Chanukah. Joshua bent down a bit so he wouldn't tower over the others!

So now this weekend will be a quieter one. I do have some other things I want to right about and hope I will get to them in the next few days.

Have a great week. Here in the east it looks like we are going to have a relatively warm weekend. No complaints from me!

Love,

Rebecca

Back to the movies

We had a wonderful, if a bit crazy, Thanksgiving. Our family has grown so much from just our two little girls to two big girls, two big boys, one not-so-little boy, and four little girls. There is simply not a quiet moment other than the first 5-10 minutes of dinner when they gobble up their food before running off to play some more. Unfortunately, little Julia was under the weather; turns out it was just a bad cold but nothing seems fun when you feel the way she looked.

As is often the case with our family, food rules the day. We had a traditional Thanksgiving dinner in which everyone pitched in. Barry did the turkey, the brisket, and a zucchini chick pea stew. Simmie made her yummy mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallow fluff on top, as well as pumpkin pie and blondies. Dina made bread stuffing and cranberry sauce, and Evy (Ronen’s mother) brought along a big salad, a cranberry crunch, and two kugels, one potato and one broccoli. We rounded it out with some rice and some couscous. Then, as if she had not already done more than enough, Evy, who could not say “no” to Maya’s request, supplied her homemade challah for our Shabbat: one large one made of mini-challot shaped like a turkey, and three regular braided loaves. So to say we ate well is an understatement. Friday night was the one meal I cooked, including yellow split pea soup with little veggie sausages as a garnish, Wynelle’s pot pie (Moosewood), sweet lokshen (noodle) kugel and fish marinated and cooked in a teriyaki sauce that Barry makes. For Shabbat day we ate leftovers from Thursday evening, and there were still leftovers from that!

Saturday evening Barry and I took the four older children over to Menchie’s for frozen yogurt. It is really very close to us and the weather was mild, so we walked and I drove my scooter over. Barry and I are gradually coming to accept that the children are not little tots any more, and they can walk down the street in a group without running out in front of cars. Oh such silly grandparents we are!

At the end of my last post, I mentioned that we had seen two movies. Unfortunately, my poor memory is struggling but I will do my best.

The first movie was “Spotlight,” with Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams as Boston Globe reporters working under an editor played by Michael Keaton who uncovered the sexual abuse of young boys by priests in Massachusetts. It turned out that this had been going on for years and was largely covered up by the Boston Archdiocese using a practice of simply sending offending priests to new communities. After the initial story was published, the enormous scope of the damage became clear. Unfortunately, in recent years we have heard of such incidents in Jewish communities as well.

The movie was quite well done. Good wins out over evil but there is no hooting and hollering; no matter how you look at this it was a devastating experience for many young men and their families.

Continuing in the one-word film title genre, the second movie we saw is called “Brooklyn.”  This is a beautifully told story that is sweet without being sappy. The main character, Eilis, is played by the actress Saoirse Ronan. If you do not know any more about Irish names than I do, I looked up both of these, and include here some links that tell what they mean and how they are pronounced.

The Irish Name Saoirse

The Irish Name Eilis

Eilis is a young Irish woman who comes to the United States looking for a better education and a better life. Those of us who grew up here in nice suburban homes do not think much about how difficult it must have been for immigrants to settle here, as did many of our parents or grandparents, in the days before relatively easy travel and communication. After a bit of a rocky start, she begins to find her way and even a relationship with a charming young Italian fellow. But after being abroad for a while she receives notice that her sister, with whom she was close, has died, and decides to return to Ireland, promising the young man she will return, and secretly marrying him before a judge at City Hall. There is a period when the strings pulling her to stay in Ireland become quite strong, even involving another potential suitor.

Perhaps I should not give away the end here, because I highly recommend this charming film. It may simply be that we enjoyed it because the week before we saw it had been so filled with sadness. But in any mood, this is a beautifully made film and a beautifully told story. So enjoy if you have a chance.

Love,

Rebecca

Thanksgiving

I have tried numerous times to write over the past few days, but only today have I accepted the fact that there is simply no more I can say about the tragic death of young Ezra Schwartz, may he rest in peace. I have read many articles telling over and over what a nice, funny, sports-loving and overall terrific young man he was. My heart goes out to his parents, his sister and brothers, his grandparents, and the large numbers of friends who knew him.

But here we are at Thanksgiving, and although I am sure it is little comfort to those most close to him, we have to remember that there are still things for which we can be thankful. Even his parents are assuredly quite thankful for their four other children.

So in that spirit, we are here in our Riverdale home waiting for our children and grandchildren to arrive for the weekend. The last time we were all in this house together was when I was undergoing treatment more than three years ago, and I was not at all involved in the shopping, the set-up, preparation, or clean-up of meals. Even this time, I have accepted offers of assistance, so all the side dishes and desserts are being provided by our children and their families as well as by our son-in-law Ronen’s parents, who live on Long Island, and are joining us. We have not put all the boards in our dining room table for a very long time!

We have seen two very good movies, one just before the sad events of last week, and one this past Sunday afternoon. But I just heard a car pull into the driveway….

A happy and healthy Thanksgiving to all!

Love,

Rebecca

Righteous judge?

On hearing of a death, Jewish people traditionally say

ברך דין האמת

Blessed is the True Judge

I am having a very hard time understanding His judgement right now.

Love,

Rebecca

http://www.wcvb.com/news/massachusetts-teen-killed-in-israeli-terror-attack/36553644

A Thanksgiving tradition

For most of the years between 1991, when we moved to New York, and 2004, when our lives as grandparents began, our fall ritual was to see Arlo Guthrie at Carnegie Hall, where he has long performed on the Saturday night of Thanksgiving weekend. Until just a few years ago those performances included Pete Seeger and some of Arlo’s children who have grown to be musicians in their own rights.

Since 2004, we have spent Thanksgiving with our main reasons to be thankful – our children and grandchildren. But we have missed that annual Arlo fix, so when we saw that he was performing in mid-November in Tarrytown, a little bit north of New York City, we decided to buy tickets.

The show opened with Arlo’s daughter Sarah Lee Guthrie, a very good singer/songwriter in her own right. Arlo came on about midway through the first half and sang a variety of old and newer songs, some written by other artists, like “City of New Orleans” by the late Steve Goodman. 

There was an intermission, and Arlo came back on stage alone with a guitar, and sat down and sang the entire “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree,” a long winding tale that recalls an incident that occurred on Thanksgiving many years ago. He updated the opening lyrics to say “It was fifty Thanksgivings ago, fifty years ago on Thanksgiving” and updated a few phrases to ones now considered more politically correct, but the spirit and humor remained entirely intact. I am sure he could sing the entire 18+ minute tale in his sleep, but he always manages to make it feel fresh.

I just learned that PBS will premiere "Alice's Restaurant 50th Anniversary Concert with Arlo Guthrie" on Thanksgiving Day (November 26) on TV stations across the country (8 pm - 9:30 pm EST, check your local listings). Definitely one to enjoy while you are trying to digest all that food!

On Sunday we saw the movie “Bridge of Spies.” It had been on our “list” but as I wrote a month ago, I was reluctant to see it because I do not like movies that involve danger and tension. I went into it saying that I would just close my eyes if it got to be too much.

The movie recounts events in the early 1960s. I was ten years old when these events took place, and can still remember the “red scare,” the drills we had in school in case of an attack. In 1962, the USSR had imprisoned two Americans: U-2 pilot Francis Gary Powers, whose plane they had shot down, and Frederic L. Pryor, and American student who was in the wrong place at the wrong time just as the Berlin Wall was being built. Meanwhile, a Soviet double agent, Rudolf Abel (played by Mark Rylance), was being held in a US prison. Tom Hanks plays James B. Donovan, an American lawyer who is assigned as Abel’s attorney.

Because this film follows a historical event, the outcome is well known: a prisoner swap of Abel for the two Americans. I did close my eyes during a few scenes, but for the most part the film, although tense, was not excessively brutal.

It has been a sad week for the beautiful city of Paris. No matter how long I live I will never understand what motivates some people to do such heinous things. You would think by now, 2015, we could do better. When will the carnage end?

Love,

Rebecca

Odd Day

Somewhere along the line, perhaps during the years when I worked with many Europeans at Pfizer, I began writing dates as DD-MM-YYYY. When you think about it, this really makes sense, going from the particular (day) to the next level (month) to the highest level (year).

Here in the US, dates are usually written as MM-DD-YYYY. Hence the date today is 11-13-15, which consists of three consecutive odd numbers. That raises a question: how often does it occur that the date can be written as three consecutive odd numbers?

Every year has a maximum of 12 months, each month a maximum of 31 days, and each century consists of 100 years.

The odd months in each year are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11

The odd days in each month are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, …, 31

The odd years for each century are 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15,……99

So, we have six days in each century that follow the pattern:

1-3-5

3-5-7

5-7-9

7-9-11

9-11-13

11-13-15

In other words, this configuration will not appear again until the 22^nd Century, January 3^rd of 2105 (1-3-5) to be precise!

Just to have some fun, how does this work for even numbers?

The even months in each year are 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12

The even days in each month are 2, 4, 6, 8, …, 30

The even years for each century are 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, …

So we have

2-4-6

4-6-8

6-8-10

8-10-12

10-12-14

12-14-16

If I have gotten this correctly, December 14^th of next year is the very last time this can happen until we get to the 22^nd century, right? Barry just told me he does not expect us to be around to see it on January 3^rd of (210)5, so we should enjoy it now.

I am getting dizzy just thinking about this.

Thanks to my sister Wendy for sharing this with me.

Have a nice weekend,

Love,

Rebecca

Understanding priorities

We saw two movies over the past week. First, Barry and I went to see “Truth,” with Robert Redford as newscaster Dan Rather and Cate Blanchette as the program producer, Mary Mapes. I remember Dan Rather but to be honest I had no recollection of why, after many years as the anchor on CBS News, he appeared to have fallen off the planet.

It all began with a topic that had come up a number of times before: George W. Bush’s military service. Mr. Bush’s family connections had allowed him to avoid being drafted into the war in Vietnam, serving instead in the Texas Air National Guard. In September 2008, the CBS 60 Minutes news team reported on newly gathered evidence that Mr. Bush had been derelict in those duties, and what happened then is the story the movie tells.

Meanwhile, the supporters of Mr. Bush did a fine job of discrediting the story and the key staff of 60 Minutes. At the end, Mr. Rather, Ms. Mapes, and most of the other reporters were fired from CBS. In their zealousness in reporting a story they truly believed was factual, were they too quick to believe their sources? On the other hand, when key sources later recanted, was it because they felt the reporting was in error or because they were forced by Bush’s advisors to do so? Admittedly in the enthusiasm to report this story, there was some sloppiness in documenting everything the CBS News team had learned from the extensive interviews. The movie does not really try to answer that question, and you walk out realizing how easy it is to change the entire narrative by altering just a few key facts.

We spent the weekend up in Sharon. We had an especially enjoyable Sabbath lunch with Barry’s brother’s daughter, our niece Sarah, who lives in Boston. Although Sarah and her sister are fairly close in age to Simmie and Dina, the girls did not spend a lot of time together growing up; sometimes life gets in the way of doing the things that really matter. But what is funny is that Sarah is also an educator, working with children with learning disabilities. She and Dina are able to speak the same lingo and compared thoughts on various approaches, and she is very good at engaging the children, who, not surprisingly, took an instant liking to her. We all agreed that we should not let so much time pass before we get together again.

On Sunday, while Simmie and Ronen shopped for a new car to replace one of theirs that is on its last leg, we took the girls to see The Peanuts Movie. It was very nicely done, with the comic strip characters up to their usual antics. There were also some “classic” moments, like when a famous Van Gogh painting flew out of Snoopy’s doghouse window and Maya yelled out “there’s Starry Night!” The story is about a new girl in town who attracts Charlie Brown’s attention, but his nervousness gets in the way of just being able to speak with her. It was good but I cannot imagine why anyone would go to see this movie without children.

As a sort of experiment, we took the train to and from Boston (the nearest stop to Sharon Route 128). We had planned carefully on our last trip, making sure we had all we needed so we would not have to bring too much luggage with us. The train, I have often said, is quite civilized. While we cannot do it every trip, we should be able to use it to ease up on Barry doing so much driving.

Barry has a very full day today, so I did something I keep talking about doing, attended Rav Avi Weiss’ Tuesday morning class on the biblical story of Joseph. I was stunned to find 25 seniors there! Many had obviously come before and were very comfortable about contributing ideas and asking questions. Learning with Rav Avi is never boring. During the course of the class, he told a story some of us have heard before. For many years, Avi was one of the leaders of the Student Struggle for Soviet Jewry, an organization that worked to liberate Soviet Jews; earlier this year he published a memoir detailing his efforts, Open Up the Iron Door: Memoirs of a Soviet Jewry Activist.

His son’s junior high school graduation was scheduled at a time when he was supposed to be overseas for one of the countless events he attended as part of SSSJ. He spoke with his son, and his son waved him on saying “I understand, this is important, you have to go.” It was only a few years ago that this topic happened to arise, and his son, now grown, voiced his disappointment that his father had not attended his graduation. Rav Avi said “you wanted me to go to the protest in Poland,” to which his son replied, “come on, Dad, I was just a kid, what did I know? Now I wish you had been there!”

I remember the first time Rav Avi shared this story with Barry and me. Barry’s father (may he rest in peace) died just a few days before Dina’s high school graduation. I was chatting with Rav Avi about how disappointed Dina was that her Abba (father) would not be with her at her graduation. You can probably see where this is going. Rav Avi asked me to let him think about this, and he got back to us encouraging Barry to go to the graduation, albeit with some restrictions. With the help of friends, Barry came, sat in the back, and saw Dina receive her diploma before returning to his mother’s apartment where he was sitting shiva. After the class this morning, I went up and told Rav Avi about this incident. I did not expect him to remember this, but I did want him to know that 15 years later it still means a good deal to our family that Barry was able to be there even if in a limited way.

Have a good week.

Love,

Rebecca

You Gotta Believe

With Tug McGraw urging his teammates on and celebrating victories with what soon became the catch phrase of 1973 Mets, "You Gotta Believe!!!" the Mets kept zigging and zagging away from would-be tacklers, and taking an occasional side-swipe, headed for this most unlikely of pennants.

These past two weeks have been a roller coaster ride for fans of the New York Mets baseball team. Just ten days ago was the thrill of the team winning the National League Pennant. Two days later, the Kansas City Royals won the American League Pennant, and the World Series kicked off in Kansas City last Tuesday. Unfortunately for Mets fans, the thrill was not to last:

Game	Date	Where	Mets	Royals
1	Tuesday 27 October	KC	4	5
2	Wednesday 28 October	KC	1	7
3	Friday 30 October	NY	9	3
4	Saturday 31 October	NY	3	5
5	Sunday 01 November	NY	2	7

By yesterday (Sunday), with the probability of the Mets overcoming the Royals looking quite grim, StubHub was filled with tickets for sale and prices rapidly dropping. Despite being a (nearly) life-long Mets fan, Barry had never seen a World Series game live, and just the opportunity to do that was a real thrill. So by early Sunday afternoon, we bought tickets, even though we knew we would likely watch the team lose.

That last game ended up being especially painful. At the end of the 8^th inning the Mets were winning 2-0. Then, in the top of the 9^th the Royals scored two runs, bringing the game to a tie and into extra innings. Neither team scored in the 10^th  and 11^th, but then the Royals scored 5 – yes 5 – runs in the top of the 12^th. When the Mets had two outs and no runs in the bottom of the 12^th we, like most others, chose to leave. It was almost midnight, which felt more like 1:00 am with the clocks having just been changed to standard time, and we listened to the rest of the game on the radio in the car.

Even with the ticket prices having dropped, going to this post-season game was quite a bit more expensive than attending a regular season game. But neither the cost nor the fact that the Mets did not win is the reason we might hesitate to do this again. This game was an entirely different experience than all the other games we have attended over the past few years. The first major difference could be seen in front of the rest room entrances: a handful of women and a long line of men, the opposite of what is usually seen. Women do go to baseball games, but perhaps when it comes to the World Series, which is so outrageously expensive, their numbers are much smaller. The second major difference was the noise level and decorum of the fans. While I appreciate that the stakes are high when the World Series is being played, the volume and content of the language left me with a headache by the time we left Citi Field. As the game wore on, I was wondering at what point those guys sitting right in front of us would finally lose their voices entirely, but it was not to happen, and at one point they nearly got into fisticuffs with a group sitting across the aisle.

I had spent too much time in my younger years hearing about baseball because some members of my family had a rather intense (to put it mildly) love/hate relationship with the game and players. Three years ago when I “discovered” baseball as a pleasant outing, the Mets were just the Mets and Citi Field was a perfect place for a patient undergoing chemotherapy to spend an afternoon. Fans can even buy kosher potato knishes and hamburgers and hot dogs to enjoy during the game. But a World Series game is something of a different experience, not necessarily one I would care to repeat. Truth is, had the Mets been winning this series, the ticket prices would not have been as low as they were. Yet these were not fans who were satisfied to just be able to attend a post-season game: they are counting on much more.

I will leave to Joshua and Barry a detailed discussion of the game and the implications for next year. Who knows, maybe someday we’ll be going to World Series games with Joshua? After all, “They don't call them the Miracle Mets for nothing. You just gotta believe.”

 Love,

Rebecca

They won!

I am exhausted, having stayed up rather late too many nights this week to watch the New York Mets win the National League Pennant after only four games against the Chicago Cubs. The first two games had been in New York while the next two were in Chicago. It was so sad to see the looks on the faces of the Chicago fans. The connection of some fans to their teams runs very deep.

I am ready for a few days away from baseball now; I do not plan to watch the final game(s) for the American League pennant.

But, speaking of statistics…my blog is just about to hit the 30,000 mark!

As of	Posts	Page views	Time Lapse	Avg. views/day
25 October 2013	131	10,000	9 months	36
24 June 2014	128	10,000	8 months	42
30 October 2015	116	10,000	16 months	9
Overall	375	30,000	33 months	30

I know that relative to all these posts that “go viral” and have millions of views within hours, this is not a very impressive showing. But it means a lot to me that you continue to read it, and that is all I ever wanted.

It appears that the cold weather is about to return, perhaps this time for a while. So this weekend we won’t leave our coats behind! Stay warm and be well.

Love,

Rebecca