Do you remember?

A friend posted the following on Facebook:

Shoutout to everyone who can still remember their childhood phone number but can’t remember the password they created yesterday. You are my people . . .

Here’s the scary part: I DO remember my childhood phone number: WY3-5579 (WY was short for Wydown). Our family had that number until we left St. Louis in 1969, when I was 17. Why in heavens name can I still remember it?

That got me to thinking that if none of my younger sisters remember it (they were 14, 11, and 4 when we moved to Connecticut), I would be the only living person who does. That was a sobering thought. But as luck would have it, my middle sister wrote back quickly that she does remember it. Amazing. Even more amazing is that our youngest sister knew it, too. She also remembered our maternal grandmother’s (whom we called “Nana,” the name I took when I became a grandmother about a year after she died) number, which can spell out “PAJAMAS.”

As for remembering recently created passwords…well, that is hopeless. I have a spreadsheet (password protected, of course) on which I store those.

The Washington Post included and article entitled “To selfie or not to selfie? Why the joy of getting vaccinated is drawing backlash.”

To selfie or not to selfie

At the beginning of the pandemic, I had a rather stark conversation with my pulmonologist who basically told me that I had to do everything I could to limit potential exposure because I would not survive this infection. So, needless to say, the opportunity to be vaccinated was very much welcome. Yet, although it has been over two weeks since my second dose, nothing really has changed. We still do not feel comfortable traveling to visit our children and grandchildren, none of whom have yet been vaccinated.

Today marks one year since our last visit to Sharon, the weekend of February 28^th to March 1^st, 2020. The twelve of us had Shabbat lunch together. Barry and I have distinct memories of our discussion about the virus that afternoon, and at the time our children thought we were being our usual overly cautious worrywart selves. I sure wish they had been correct!

Meanwhile, may the next month find us further along this dark road towards some light.

Love,                                                          

Rebecca

 

Through a nurse's eyes

 

This 15-minute video was posted on the New York Times web page yesterday. Warning: it is quite painful to watch, and may not be for everyone. But it really does shine a light on the unsung heroes in this pandemic, and hopefully encourages each of us to do all that we can to stay well. You would think we would be highly motivated to take care of ourselves, but a little additional incentive can never hurt.

 Death through a nurse's eyes

This evening begins the Jewish festival of Purim. Our last weekend in Sharon was just before Purim of 2020. The holiday fell on Tuesday, March 10, and it turned out I also had my routine monthly medical appointments that morning. A few days later, we were expecting to have Joshua and family in New York for the Sarachek Basketball Tournament, but like so much that was to come, it was cancelled. My Google calendar is still filled with activities on which I had later typed “CANCELLED.” It is hard to believe it has been an entire year of this new and far too solitary existence.

We are just hopeful that, over time, with increasing numbers of people vaccinated, life will return to some sort of normalcy. But for now, we continue to miss our family, and Zoom remains an inadequate substitute for which we must force ourselves to be grateful.

Meanwhile, we will be experiencing the traditional readings of the Book of Esther via Zoom.

Stay healthy!

Love,                                                          

Rebecca

Guess we are getting old

Barry and I have long been fans of humorist David Sedaris. He has written many amusing and insightful books, and he periodically shares short essays on “CBS Sunday Morning.” His contribution to this morning’s show really resonated for us “old folks.” Please take a couple of minutes for a welcome laugh.

David Sedaris on his trip to the Apple Store

On a more serious and sadder note, the death toll due to COVID-19 will likely top 500,000 – half a million - today. The numbers of new cases and deaths do seem to be headed in a good direction, but there remain no guarantees, and we must continue to be vigilante.

Stay safe and warm.

Love,                                                          

Rebecca

Disappointment

Just a little past the one-year mark since the first death here in the United States, we are rapidly pushing towards 500,000 – that’s half a million – deaths due to SARS-CoV-2. For every family and community who has lost a loved one, the number might as well be infinite. For the rest of us, it remains almost unimaginable.

But what has been quite real even without the ultimate loss are the almost daily disappointments. For us, it has been the inability to spend time with our children and grandchildren. Still, we take great solace in the fact that we are still able to “see” them, albeit electronically, quite frequently. But for them, the disappointments are far more real.

First there was last summer, when all plans for camps were suspended, including “Camp Nana Sabba.” Then, although all the children all returned to school at least part-time, the fall came and went without a basketball season for our oldest grandson. As a junior and third year member of the Maimonides team this year, he would have surely had a lot more time on the court. But it was simply not meant to be. Piano lessons were also not to be.

Our younger daughter and her husband had long been planning a 20^th wedding anniversary trip to Hawaii in December, which had to be cancelled.

Two of our granddaughters, cousins who are now 15 and 14 years of age, had been planning to run a small day camp program for 7-8 younger children during this February school break. The program was to take place in the large, open garage of one of our long-time Sharon friends, in the hopes that the weather would not be prohibitively cold. They spent many hours planning activities and shopping for supplies, and I have to say we were incredibly proud of them for their creative thoughts and hard work. And then, at the end of last week came the news of a few cases of Covid in the community, and it became clear that the plans had to be cancelled.

As they have been asked to do again and again this past year, they have taken this in stride. I wish I could be as patient and understanding. Instead, I find myself hopelessly frustrated and incredibly sad, and while there is simply no solution to this but acceptance, it is hard not to wonder if our country could have handled all of this a lot better than we have.

The best we can do is to hope that, over the coming months, enough people will be able to be vaccinated that we can bring this under better control and slowly return to more normal lives. But, sadly, we still have a long way to go on this current path.

Meanwhile, when all else fails, there is always baking Hammantaschen!

 Love,                                                          

Rebecca

All ones and twos

I was fortunate to receive my second dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center yesterday, three weeks to the day after receiving my first dose.

I could not help but noticing the two dates on which I received the two doses:

1/21/21 and 2/11/21

Each date has three ones and two twos. There may be some meaning that is escaping me at the moment, but I am glad to have had the opportunity to have been vaccinated. We certainly recognize that this does not completely eliminate the chance of infection, but perhaps it does lessen the anxiety somewhat.

Of course, the truly celebratory day will be when our entire family has been vaccinated so that we can see each other in person once again.

Meanwhile, we were glad to participate with Julia, albeit remotely,  as she and her classmates received their first prayer books at school. Each of the children made a cover for their books with their names on it, and each chose a particular blessing on which to speak. Julia chose the blessing thanking Gd for “providing for all our needs,” and she included thanks for providing the “medicines and vaccines so that I can be with friends and family.” She is shown at 13 minutes and 41 seconds into the video.

Not surprisingly, I am a bit tired after receiving the vaccine yesterday. But I wanted to share that good news and wish all of you a safe and healthy weekend.

Love,                                                          

Rebecca

 

Not all that super to me

First, an addendum to my last post about the film “Amadeus.” One surprise was seeing a familiar face in the role of Lorl, a maidservant secretly hired by Mozart competitor Salieri to spy on the family. The role was played by a very young (23 years old) Cynthia Nixon, aka Miranda Hobbes from “Sex and the City.” Here are some clips from the film.

  

In another a cappella music-related note, Jimmy Kimmel had on an impressive group of five young singers from Arlington, Texas called Pentatonix. Members are vocalists Scott Haying (baritone), Mitch Grossi (tenor), Kirstin Moldonado (mezzo-soprano), Kevin Olusola (vocal percussion), and Mat Sallee (bass).  Here is their performance from “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

 

I suppose most people are writing and reading about Super Bowl LV. In solidarity with our grandson Joshua, I tried to watch but I have to admit I fell asleep part-way through. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were already way out ahead, and, as I am sure you all know, went on to win 31 to 9 over the Kansas City Chiefs. I tried, I really did, but I just do not find the game at all interesting. Maybe I only like round balls.

In case you missed it, here is the half-time show. I did not really enjoy this any more than I enjoyed the actual game.

Meanwhile, it snowed again, and more is coming. We are just hoping we will be able to safely travel to my appointment for dose #2 on Thursday morning.

Stay safe and warm and healthy!

Love,                                                                   

Rebecca

Hodgepodge

 I have a few relatively unrelated things to write about, and the word that popped into my head was “hodgepodge.” Is that an old-fashioned word? I will have to ask our grandchildren if they have heard it.

Hodgepodge or hotchpotch describes a confused or disorderly mass or collection of things; a "mess" or a "jumble". 

I have never heard the term “hotchpotch,” and I do not believe that what I have to discuss is either confused or disorderly or a mess, but it is a jumble. So, I’ll stick with that.

Before I delve into my discussion of a film we had long ago seen but watched again recently, I looked up the definition of “classic film.” Back in 2008, Jim Emerson wrote in a piece called “What makes a movie a "classic"? on RogerEbert.com

What's your definition of "classic"? Record-breaking? Precedent-setting? Influential? Enduring? How soon can such a status be determined? (Films have to be at least 25 years old to qualify for the National Film Registry; acts don't become eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame until 25 years after the release of their first record.) Are their films from the 1990s and 2000s that you would already consider worthy of classic status? Have at it.

Having said that, we watched what is assuredly considered a classic film at this point, having been released thirty-seven years ago, “Amadeus.” We loved it then and we loved it now, but I never really believed that it was entirely historically accurate, and a fair amount has been written on that topic. See, for example 

https://handelandhaydn.org/amadeus-fact-fiction/

Despite the significant poetic license used in telling the story, the acting, the music, and the costumes make it a magical experience. In fact, the film was nominated for 11 and won 8 academy awards:

Category	Nominated
Best Picture	Saul Zaentz	Won
Best Director	Miloš Forman	Won
Best Actor in a Leading Role	F. Murray Abraham	Won
	Tom Hulce	Nominated
Best Adapted Screenplay	Peter Shaffer	Won
Best Cinematography	Miroslav Ondříček	Nominated
Best Art Direction	Patrizia von Brandenstein Karel Černý	Won
Best Costume Design	Theodor Pištěk	Won
Best Makeup	Dick Smith and Paul LeBlanc	Won
Best Film Editing	Nena Danevic and Michael Chandler	Nominated
Best Sound	Mark Berger, Todd Boekelheide Tom Scott & Christopher Newman	Won

Mozart died at the far too young age of 35. The enormous body of work he produced would have been impressive for a person who lived twice as long, and continues to provide joy and inspiration 230 years after his passing. 

A very different sort of music is the classic song written by Don McLean, “American Pie.” A friend posted this wonderful new version he recently did with an a cappella group called Home Free.

A cappella American Pie

Another friend posted the following:

Which would you choose? It was fairly easy for me: chocolate, music, and Netflix. I might have chosen books but reading remains a challenge, which I suppose explains why I write so much about movies but never about books. 

In reading this over as I prepared to post it, I realize that I called it “hodgepodge” but, in fact, all three pieces involve music. So I guess that was a misnomer, but it was still fun so I’ll leave it in.

We have another winter wonderland here in the northeast. It is just as well that everyone has to stay home to watch the Super Bowl later today.

Stay safe and warm and healthy!

Love,                                                                   

Rebecca

Made it to 80,000!

 

As of this evening, here is the summary of pageviews on the blog:

All Time   80003

Today   19

Yesterday   51

This Month   336

Last Month 1400

Thanks, all!

Love,                                                                   

Rebecca

Great way to start the weekend

Almost nine years ago, the first symptoms I experienced that eventually led to the diagnosis of CNS lymphoma seemed to be visual. I found I was increasing the font size on everything and still having trouble reading it. It turned out that my visual acuity had not changed, but that this was a cognitive issue caused by the cancerous growth in my brain. Although the cancer is gone, the deficit caused by the damage remains. So early on Barry bought me a large monitor for my computer. But lately that monitor was behaving badly, in that it would keep “losing” the signal from the computer. After living with this and kvetching about it for a number of months, all the while insisting that I did not want to spend money on a new monitor, Barry ordered one which he set up early this morning. What a wonderful difference! And as an added benefit, the quality of this monitor is quite a bit better than the old one. I am very happy and grateful for how well he takes of me.

I have two videos to share this morning. The first came from yesterday’s daily update from New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo, reassuring folks about the safety of the COVID vaccines and encouraging vaccination.

The second was shared by my friend Randy, a terrific version of Leonard Cohen’s classic “Hallelujah” for our times.

With this post, I will likely hit 80,000 views on this blog! Thanks for continuing to follow my ramblings.

Enjoy, and have a great and healthy weekend.

Love,                                           

Rebecca

 

Cancer as a metaphor

Over 10 years ago, The Oncologist published an article on cancer as a metaphor. 

We often talk to patients about fighting their cancer and winning the war, and that is often how we think about oncology. We invoke military imagery to help us describe the ordeal our patients go through.

With all due respect to the journal editors, it seems to me that this was a bit backwards. I think the more correct phrasing is that we use fighting a war as a metaphor for the treatment of cancer.

 

We have inundated our language with bellicose metaphors. Take, for instance, the language of immunology: lymphocytes are “deployed” or “mobilized,” the protagonists are “killer” cells and the images are all of “battles” for supremacy and survival. Clinicians talk about a “therapeutic armamentarium,” and I am sure many of us tell our patients that we know of a new “magic bullet.”

In the next paragraph, the article goes on to say

 

The fact is that Richard Nixon and Ted Kennedy started to talk about the war on cancer in the 1970s, and we have had updates ever since.

At the end of 1971, President Nixon signed into law the National Cancer Act, one of the highlights of his otherwise dark legacy:

National Cancer Act of 1971

The National Cancer Institute was established in its current form by the National Cancer Act of 1971, signed into law by President Richard Nixon. This legislation was an amendment to the Public Health Service Act of 1944 and represented the US commitment to what President Nixon described as the “war on cancer,” which had become the nation’s second leading cause of death by 1970.

Admittedly we are still some way from achieving the lofty goals included in the 1971 legislation, but we have certainly made significant progress.

While I may have occasionally slipped into battle language in over 8 years of writing this blog, I have to admit I have never been especially fond of its use. If I am fighting a war, who exactly is the enemy? I can only see two possibilities. The first is that we are our own worst enemies in that our unhealthy lifestyles have contributed to our disease. That explanation is simply a guilt with which no one receiving a cancer diagnosis would care to live. The second is that cancer is caused by some Divine Being. That explanation would seem to fly in the face of everything we are supposed to believe about religion and its role in our lives. Perhaps it is the statistician in me, but I just look at this as a largely random outcome of being a human being, nothing more, nothing less.

I have thought of this often during these past eight years, but I was reminded of it yesterday when I heard United States Senator Mitch McConnell say that “loony lies and conspiracy theories are cancer for the Republican Party and our country.” While war may not be an appropriate metaphor for cancer, perhaps cancer is an appropriate metaphor for the war currently raging in this country. Ridding our body politic of this “disease” will require significant effort to reduce the anger that has come to dominate our lives and allow that “cancer” to flourish.

Are we up to the task?

Love,                                           

Rebecca

 

Making the best of what seems to be a raw deal

 

We recently watched a fascinating documentary film called “Dealt,” which is about a card magician named Richard Turner. Mr. Turner’s talents would be impressive under any circumstances, but what makes his story particularly unique and moving is that he is blind.

He began to lose his eyesight after being diagnosed with scarlet fever that caused macular degeneration when he was 9 years old, and was essentially unable to see by the time he was a teenager. By adulthood, he could no longer distinguish between a fully lit room and total darkness. That transition initially led to self-destructive behaviors but eventually he found his calling in decks of cards, of which he owns over 5000, which you see neatly stacked in their little boxes in the home he shares with his wife, Kim, in San Antonio.

One aspect that perhaps distinguishes Mr. Turner from other blind people is his insistence on not to allowing himself to easily be identified as blind. He never learned braille, and only in recent years did he finally agree to use a seeing eye dog. The film also introduces us to his sister, Lori, who suffers from the same disease which she has approached in a more conventional way.

A shout out to our friend Joanne for recommending this fascinating film.

Love,                                           

Rebecca

 

 

We should be able to do better

Yesterday I was chatting with a long-time friend in Sharon. She is 65, but Massachusetts appears to have sufficient coronavirus vaccine to provide immunizations to individuals 75 and older. Further, that distribution is not going particularly well, leaving many seniors struggling to figure out where to go and how to set up appointments. That latter problem is common to many states. Although our government knew for months and months that this was coming, setting up the infrastructure to make it all happen was left to localities that are ill prepared to deal with the distribution at the same time they are dealing with all the pain and suffering the virus has left in its wake. 

After we spoke, I was stunned to see this ranking of the pandemic response in 98 countries. The categories used in the rankings included total confirmed cases and total deaths (raw numbers and rates per million population), number of tests performed and number of cases confirmed for each test performed. New Zealand, Vietnam, Taiwan, and Thailand had the best overall performances in the ranking. Shockingly, the United States ranked 94^th, followed by Iran, Colombia, Mexico, and Brazil. 

I am certain that this is not the only way to look the numbers. Another site that has quite a bit of data is the one compiled by Johns Hopkins University of Medicine.

Mortality in Most Affected Countries

While the United States is certainly not the worst country, we are nowhere near where it would seem that a country as wealthy and educated as we are should be. We rank 4^th in the number of deaths per 100,000 population, better than only the United Kingdom, Czechia, and Italy.

We have a lot of work to do, and every second counts. At the moment, we here in the northeast find ourselves buried in over a foot of snow, which will mean numerous cancellations of appointments for vaccinations, causing more anguish, pain, and suffering all around.

Just do your best to stay safe and warm and dry.

Love,                                           

Rebecca

In and of itself

For someone who usually has quite a bit to say, I am completely stymied trying to write about the new Hulu original movie, “In and Of Itself,” directed by Frank Oz and starring Derek DelGaudio. Here is the brief description on Rotten Tomatoes, which gave the film a score of 100%:

 

DEREK DELGAUDIO’S IN & OF ITSELF is a new kind of lyric poem. It tells the story of a man fighting to see through the illusion of his own identity, only to discover that identity itself is an illusion. An intimate and powerful exploration of what it means to be and be seen, the film chronicles Derek DelGaudio’s attempt to answer one deceptively simple question, “Who am I?” His personal journey expands to a collective experience that forces us to confront the boundaries of our own identities.

 

 

The movie is a compilation of scenes from various performances of the show, which ran on Broadway from May 2016 to August 2018 at the Daryl Roth Theatre in lower Manhattan’s Union Square. Steven Colbert, along with his wife Evelyn, were the Executive Producers of the film, having made it after seeing DelGaudio’s live performance.  I am attaching here a recent interview with Oz and DelGaudio on “The Late Show with Steven Colbert.”

 

If you have time, give it a try and see what you think. It is indeed a quite unusual experience during these rather unusual times.

Meanwhile, or as Colbert now calls the segment, “Quarantinewhile”, the snow is falling quite heavily. I was supposed to go into The City for a couple of medical appointments this morning but I have rescheduled them to Thursday. Thanks to Barry, who tracks and manages the grocery orders, the larder is well stocked and we are safely and warmly at home.

Take care!

Love,                                           

Rebecca