Not too late

Today’s New York Times crossword puzzle was, not surprisingly, related to the start of the new year.

The clue for 37 across was “New Year’s greeting.” This turned out to be

HAPPY 2014

From the “down” answers I had the “happy” fairly quickly. But it took a while before I realized that the remaining four squares were numbers rather than letters. You may be wondering, how did those four numbers work in the corresponding “down” answers?

The clue for 27 down was “1971 #1 hit for Carole King”, which is

ITS2LATE (It’s Too Late)

The clue for 39 down was “Classic Stephen Foster song,” which is

0SUZANNA (Oh, Suzanna)

The clue for 24 down was “Achieved through difficulty,” which is

HARD1 (hard one)

The clue for 32 down was “Try!” This turned out to be

GO4IT (go for it)

I am only embarrassed to admit that I was not able to complete 27 down immediately!

Through the wonders of YouTube, here’s an amazingly good quality video from a performance circa 1971. Barry saw her on tour early that year when she performed in Rochester (where we were students) but my finances did not allow for such things.

We are bracing for some brutal weather the next couple of days. The refrigerator and pantry are full, so as long as we have power we should be fine. To all of you in the path of this storm, take care of yourselves!

    

Love,

Rebecca

A great end of 2013

We had a wonderful end to 2013. We drove up to Sharon first thing Sunday morning. Simmie prepared butternut squash soup for dinner (along with hot rolls and salad) that really hit the spot! Then on Monday we took Eliana and Maya to see Disney on Ice in Providence. It was loads of fun, with all the familiar characters and lots of lights and music.

On Tuesday afternoon we picked up Joshua and drove into Boston to see a Celtics game. We had purchased the tickets as a Chanukah gift for Joshua, and selected the 31^st because it was one of the few day games for which we were all available. As we were driving up to Boston, there was very heavy traffic on I-93 as well as on the roads that cross over I-93, with many police and fire department cars parked on the overpasses. It quickly became clear that something was going on in the southbound lanes. And soon we saw a hearse followed by officers on horseback, as well as many other cars driving along with that group. We turned on the radio and quickly learned what we had seen: the funeral procession for an area soldier who was killed in Afghanistan a couple of weeks ago. It was a sobering moment, clearly an excruciatingly painful way for this family to end their year.

We finally made our way to the TD Garden, parked, and found our way to our seats. I had not paid much attention but when we arrived I saw that the Celtics were playing the Atlanta Hawks. And a little light bulb went on in my head: didn’t the Hawks used to be a St. Louis team? I had a faint recollection that they had left St. Louis and gone to Atlanta. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, within a few minutes I had responses to e-mail queries of my brother and youngest sister, both of whom I figured would know this information. It was a little difficult to select a side, but the Celtics fans are a very devoted bunch and it is hard to sit at a game in Boston and not root for the Celtics, so I went with the flow. Joshua, on the other hand, amused himself with getting excited every time the Hawks scored.

It was a very exciting game. Although early on the Celtics pulled out fairly far ahead, as the game progressed the Hawks caught up and the two teams took turns being 1-2 points ahead. If the Celtics player had gotten that last shot, with just a second remaining, they would have won. But instead, it ended at 92 for the Hawks and 91 for the Celtics. Disappointing, but we got to eat popcorn and peanuts and licorice and see a very exciting game. Then we got to sit in horrific traffic leaving the TD Garden.

We picked up dinner at a new local restaurant called The Chubby Chickpea. They have a limited vegetarian menu but Joshua really loves their chicken, so it was the perfect addition to “his” day of fun. After dinner, Joshua and Ella came back to our apartment for a sleep-over while their parents went to a party. The children stayed up a little later than usual (shhhhh! don’t tell Dina!) because we were having so much fun just talking and laughing.

The Chubby Chickpea

We had planned to stay in Sharon through the weekend, but two things occurred. First, a minor problem with our car, and second, we heard the weather predictions of a snow storm followed by frigid weather over the weekend. Since I can barely leave the house when it is that cold, we decided to come back to New York today. The snow is supposed to begin here shortly, so we had time to stop and pick up some groceries in case we are unable to get out for the next few days.

We were sorry to have to cut out trip short, but we did have a great time with our grandchildren in those three days – a very good way to end a year and start a new one!

     

Love,

Rebecca

One last movie....

We drove up to Sharon this morning and plan to spend the week here. We have a lot of plans with our family. Tomorrow Barry and I are taking Eliana and Maya to Disney on Ice. On Tuesday we are taking Joshua to an afternoon Celtics game. I am sure we will all get together on the 1^st. The children go back to school on Thursday but we figured we might as well stay through the weekend, especially since we haven’t been up here for two weeks.

With all those plans, we wanted to sneak in one more movie while we were still on our own, and we went to see “Saving Mr. Banks.” The movie is said to be based on a true story, although I have no way of knowing just how closely it follows the reality. The story focuses on two main characters: P.L. Travers, the author of the Mary Poppins books, written from 1934 – 1988, and Walt Disney, whose children wanted him to make the stories into a movie. The movie flips back and forth between the present (the early 1960s), with Walt Disney trying to convince Ms. Travers to allow him to make her book into a film, and the past, exploring the relationship between the young Ms. Travers and her adoring but troubled father, who lost his battle with alcohol and died when she was just a girl. It was a touching story, although we both found the flipping back and forth a bit annoying after a while and thought a few of those could have been cut, improving the flow without losing the needed details. Nonetheless, it was, as Disney movies always are, quite enjoyable.

Is this a movie for children? It has a PG-13 rating by the Motion Picture Association of America:

G-13 – Parents Strongly Cautioned

Parents are urged to be cautious as the motion picture contains some material that parents might consider inappropriate for children under 13 years.

I can see this as it relates to the father, whose alcoholism is not hidden and whose final decline is painful to watch, even for this adult. Perhaps when the children are older, we will remember this film and watch it with them.   

As I have been writing this, Barry has been listening to some recordings of old NPR programs. And for the past twenty minutes I have had to stop my work on this to listen to a fascinating interview with Graham Nash. You can find it here:

http://www.npr.org/2013/10/15/234683906/graham-nash-has-wild-tales-to-spare

Great listening for all you CSN fans out there!

The temperature is dropping. Stay warm!

Love,

Rebecca

Rethinking old ideas

A friend passed along a link to the article I have copied here. After sharing it with some Jewish friends and reading some of their reactions, I decided to post it here. While I am sure some would disagree, this piece does an excellent job of expressing some of the thoughts I have found myself having in recent years.

I was reminded of these thoughts when our daughter told us that her family went to see The Nutcracker. When our daughters were young, we never took them to a performance or even listened to a recording of this because I thought of it as part of a holiday we did not celebrate. Perhaps I was afraid that they would be too attracted to the festivities and lose the tradition we were trying to instill. So when I learned that two of our grandchildren had gone to see it, I felt both joy (for them) and some guilt (that we never took their mother). The latter, I guess, is a typical reaction of a Jewish mother.

Here is the piece.

An Attitude - and a Kiddush HaShem

Photo credit: Aish

Comedian David Steinberg (an alumnus of HTC) was a regular guest on the old Tonight Show back when Johnny Carson hosted it. He once told a humorous story about how his immigrant father would look out the window on Christmas day and hope it wouldn’t snow. When it did, he would say in resentful tones, ‘They got their White Christmas!’ Carson laughed.

I bring up this story to point out how some Jews view Christmas. They resent it. I can understand why. Until the mid twentieth century, and certainly prior to the Holocaust, Christians were not all that kind to us.  They considered the Jews to be eternally responsible for their god’s death. And Jews have suffered at Christian hands since the founding of their religion. Sufferings like pogroms, the Inquisition, and the Holocaust. The resentment is clear - but in our day misguided. Christianity has had an unprecedented about face in the 20^th century – starting with Vatican II. And their attitude has only improved since then. This includes not only Catholics, but Protestants as well. Especially Fundamentalist Christians who number in excess of 50 million people in this country. I’ve been though all this before. But never in the context of Christmas.

The truth is that in years past, I felt pretty much the same way.  As an American who loves his country and all that it has done for me, my family, and its Jewish citizens I have always felt like I was part of this great experiment in democracy called America. Except on Christmas. During this time of year with all the music, decorations, and “Christmas Cheer” in the air, I felt like I didn’t quite belong. Not that I ever agonized over it, but I did have this somewhat uncomfortable feeling about it.

Over time, I have come to realize that Christmas as it is now celebrated in this country is more about the warm fuzzies of family, big meals, good wishes, and gifts than it is about anything religious. The theme is one of brotherhood, good will, and peace on earth. Perhaps the biggest symbol of this day is a fictional character in a red suit that hands out presents to people who have been good. The religious aspects of this holiday are left inside the church. One hardly ever hears about these religious aspects outside of it.

So when I hear Christmas music now and see the department store Santas, it does not bother me at all. Nor does it bother me when I see a Christmas tree or houses adorned with Christmas decorations (otherwise known as Sukkah decorations, especially in Israel). I think my attitude can be summed up with the following rather famous anecdote. (video below)

During Supreme Court Justice Elana Kagan’s confirmation hearings, Senator Lindsay Graham -knowing she is Jewish - asked her what she did on Christmas day. She responded “You know, like all Jews, I was probably at a Chinese restaurant.” 

This really is the kind of positive attitude we should all have. It is not our day and we all do our own thing on it without any sense of being lesser Americans. We ought to respect the fact that the vast majority of Americans are Christians and celebrate this holiday in the most positive of ways. Unlike pre- Holocaust Europe, there is no intent by any of them to blame us for anything. That the world around us celebrates this holiday and we don’t does not mean we are any less American. That is built into the constitution. We ought to recognize that.

In fact I would go a step further. I agree with Rabbi Benjamin Blech who actually sees Christmas as a positive day for Jews. And that we should actually feel good about this day! Even though we have separation of church and state - America is a religious country.  Most Americans believe in God (and the bible to one extent or another). ‘In God we trust!’ is printed on our currency. And as Rabbi Blech points out: 

The United States identifies itself as “one nation under God.” Belief in a higher power has been the source of our divine blessing. And as Jews I think we ought to recognize that today the greatest challenge to our faith is not another faith, but faithlessness. Our greatest fear should not be those who worship in a different way but those who mockingly reject the very idea of worship to a higher power…

Living among Christians who demonstrate commitment to their religious beliefs to my mind is a far better example to my coreligionists than a secular lifestyle determined solely by hedonistic choices. 

I think he’s right about that. It is long past the time to reject all the old notions about the ‘evils’ of Chrstmas and instead be happy that our Christian neighbors have religious values without any of the antiSemitism that accompanied it back in pre-Holocaust Europe. Instead of all those old negative feelings we should be happy that they still celebrate their religious beliefs.

In a somewhat related way, I want to conclude with a Berl Wein ‘Christmas story’ by Jonathan Rosenblum that was a huge Kiddush Hashem.

Rabbi Wein was once invited to meet with the Christian editor of the Detroit Free Press.  The editor proceeded to tell him about his immigrant mother’s experience as as a domestic maid for an Orthodox Jewish family where the father was the president of his Shul. The family had left her to take care of the house while they went on vacation during the Christmas season. 

Not knowing anything about Judaism the young girl noticed that there was no Christmas tree in the house. She was so bothered by this that she ended up spending her own money on a Christmas tree and other decorations for the house - inside and out. When the family came back, they were needless to say shocked by what they saw. How would they ever explain this to their Jewish neighbors?! Here is the rest of the story:

The head of the family entered the house contemplating how to explain the Christmas tree and lights to the members of the shul, most of whom walked right past his house on their way to shul. Meanwhile, Mary was eagerly anticipating the family's excitement when they realized that they would not be without a Christmas tree.

After entering the house, the head of the family called Mary into his study. He told her, "In my whole life no one has ever done such a beautiful thing for me as you did." Then he took out a $100 bill -- a very large sum in the middle of the Depression -- and gave it to her. Only after that did he explain that Jews do not have Christmas trees.

When he had finished telling the story, the editor told Rabbi Wein, "And that is why, there has never been an editorial critical of Israel in the Detroit Free Press since I became editor, and never will be as long as I am the editor."

The shul president's reaction to Mary's mistake -- sympathy instead of anger -- was not because he dreamed that one day her son would the editor of a major metropolitan paper, and thus in a position to aid Israel. (Israel was not yet born.) He acted as he did because it was the right thing to do.

That's what it means to be a Kiddush Hashem, to sanctify God's Name. It is a goal to which we can all strive.

Could not agree more.

Love,

Rebecca

Pet peeve

For all the understanding of the world that modern science and technology enables, I fear that we are losing an appreciation of the English language and the rules of grammar. For years Barry and I had a particular pet peeve that was often heard during conversations with our daughters and their friends. When recalling a joint trip to the mall with a friend, the speaker would say “Me and my friend went shopping” rather than “my friend and I went shopping.” We cannot be sure how much our hounding them helped, but as teachers of young students I am sure they find it helpful to be conversant in basic rules of grammar.

I started thinking about this this morning when we were listening to NPR and heard the host of the show say “join Dave and I for this discussion…” Would I ever ask someone to “join I (or we) for dinner?” If we cannot rely on NPR hosts to use proper English, there is little hope for the rest of us.

My ability to read has continued to improve, although I still require material to be in a large font, and the effort required makes it difficult for me to read very much in one sitting. Today something reminded us that Barry had long ago set up a Kindle account and purchased some e-books, which would provide a good source of material I could use to practice my reading.

It turns out that I had purchased a few e-books during the months before my diagnosis. I have a faint recollection of having done this in preparation for our annual trip to St. John in February 2012. We have always spent a lot of our time there lounging on the beach and reading. But by early 2012 I was having so much trouble reading that I never so much as looked at that Kindle during those ten days. You may wonder how that could have happened without loud and urgent alarms sounding. Believe me, it is a question I ask myself quite frequently. But it is much easier to think this way after the fact than it was before.

This afternoon we took a look at the books we had ordered a couple of years ago. I should probably be embarrassed to admit this, but I do enjoy light reading, and I had long been a big fan of Faye Kellerman’s Decker/Lazarus series. There were two books sitting on the Kindle server that I had never read. So today, after Barry downloaded her 2012 book, Gun Games, onto my PC, where I can view it in large font with my big screen, I was ready to go.  

And then, on the very first page, I read the following (emphasis mine):

They were coming his way: five of them—three guys, two girls—all of them looking older than him by a couple of years but probably still in high school.

Older than him? It is helpful to think about the meaning of this sentence. The narrator is describing five people who looked older than the unnamed protagonist (the “his” at the beginning of the sentence). What Ms. Kellerman was really trying to say was that the five people looked older than this unnamed “he” did by a couple of years. So I believe the sentence should have read

They were coming his way: five of them—three guys, two girls—all of them looking older than he by a couple of years but probably still in high school.

Instead of spending this past hour reading, I spent it venting about this, first to Barry and then in these words. I have finished now. Thanks for indulging my outburst. Now I can get back to trying to read!

Love,

Rebecca

  

More moview....

It is December 25, very little is open and it is quite cold outside. Our grandchildren are visiting their other grandparents this week, so we took advantage of the downtime and saw a couple more movies.

First, we saw “American Hustle.” This movie was loosely based on the FBI’s ABSCAM operation of the late 1970s and early 1980s that investigated public corruption among elected officials. The movie had received excellent reviews, and has been included on many critics’ “top ten” lists for this year. Despite all this, I probably should have known that I would not particularly enjoy this movie. Not only was it quite confusing, it is just not a topic that particularly captures my curiosity. I do remember talk of this operation when our daughters were young, but it was never something that particularly piqued my interest. My feeling about the movie was that it was a waste of what I am sure many would argue was an excellent cast. I just could not get past my dislike of the characters or the story.

So, on a much lighter note, today we saw “20 Feet from Stardom” which focuses on the (mostly female) backup singers behind some of the top singers of the 20^th century. Although much of the music was familiar, the names and faces were not. The music was terrific and uplifting, and the interviews with the stars, which included Bruce Springsteen, Mick Jagger, Stevie Wonder, and Sting, were fascinating and often heartwarming. But as lucrative as music was for these four, the same was not true for the women who provided such an integral part of their sound. The movie left us wondering how some people become big stars, while others who may be at least as talented just never make it. Like so many things in life, while talent and hard work do play a significant role, the formula for being in the right place doing the right thing at just the right time is much less well-defined. Gradually, by the 1980s or so, the role for these backup singers diminished. Although most bands that have succeeded may have a “lead singer” and even a lead composer, more often the lead vocals and composition are shared among the group.  It was an enjoyable, upbeat, and interesting documentary, which I needed after the previous film we had seen.

It being December 25^th, the City is rather deserted today. In the old days, people used to flock to Chinese restaurants on December 25^th because they were among the few open. Kosher restaurants are open, but tend to be quite crowded. But now New York has many other ethnic establishments, including many Indian restaurants, a good number of which are vegetarian. Like many things in Manhattan, they are all clustered together along Lexington between 27^th and 28^th Streets. Seems funny but this is something that has always been true in Manhattan. I can remember years ago being extremely impressed with Barry’s late father: if we needed to buy something, no matter how obscure, he could advise us on precisely where to find it in New York. We tried a relatively new Indian vegetarian restaurant called Bhojan. At first it looks like a little hole in the wall but when you walk towards the back it is a lovely room. Most of the Indian restaurants have similar menus, so we ordered our usual favorites and they were very good.

Stay warm, and enjoy the time off with your families and friends if you have it.

Love,

Rebecca

Time for movies

We will be in New York through this upcoming weekend because our children and grandchildren will be visiting their other parents/grandparents next weekend. We have a list of movies we hope to see, and we were able to get started on that yesterday.

The first movie we saw was “Philomena”. The film is based on a true story in Ireland that begins in the 1950s, as told in the book by Martin Saxsmith, Philomena: A Mother, Her Son, and a Fifty-Year Search. Philomena was a sixteen year old high school student who became pregnant. Apparently it was not uncommon in those situations for girls to be sent off to live through their pregnancies and deliver their babies in convents. To “pay” for this, they were forced into menial labor at the convent for five years, and to sign a contract agreeing never to inquire into their children’s whereabouts. When the babies were born, the mothers were given limited access to them until they were adopted and simply taken away, often with no prior notice to the mothers. This part of the story is told in flashback. When we meet Philomena, she is looking for the baby boy she had been given up over 50 years earlier. Against all odds, and with an amazing amount of what you might call righteous dishonesty from everyone involved in the separation of mother and baby, she does eventually find her son while somehow maintaining a great deal of dignity and grace, even forgiveness. The movie, while portraying a rather dark subject, has some very light and funny moments.

Like all such stories, we watch this in 2013 through rather different lenses than the ones worn by those who lived during the period this occurred. It is simply inconceivable to us that there could be such a cruel separation of babies from their mothers. But I have to keep telling myself that it was a very different time and place, one we cannot appreciate through today’s definitions of good and bad. The nuns were not completely evil, although it becomes clear that there were financial benefits to the church from these arrangements, with the usual rules of privacy being bent for the “right” people. 

The second movie we saw was “Her.” We had seen previews for this movie quite a few times, and it seemed like a charming film, precisely what I was looking to see. I just re-watched the movie trailer (attached here), but now I am seeing it from a different perspective. While the film has many light moments, it is definitely neither a fluff piece nor a romantic comedy. In fact, it is a thoughtful look at relationships: what we seek in them and what makes them work.

The movie is set in California at an undefined future time, perhaps 10-20 years from now. Theodore, played by Joaquin Phoenix, is a young man who works as a sort of ghost writer, writing letters for people who have things to say but apparently cannot either say or write the words themselves. His wife has left him, and he is living a rather sad and lonely life when he learns about and begins running a new operating system on his computer and phone; imagine the voice of Scarlett Johannson as a sort of “Siri - plus,” who greets him in the morning, chats with him throughout the day, and has deep conversations with him at night, and you can see how his relationship with the voice quickly becomes romantic.  Manohla Dargis described this well in her New York Times review:

At once a brilliant conceptual gag and a deeply sincere romance, “Her” is the unlikely yet completely plausible love story about a man, who sometimes resembles a machine, and an operating system, who very much suggests a living woman. 

You know that this has to unravel, but I do not want to give away just how that happens. The end of the movie does not really tell you what the future will bring to Theodore and his (human) friend, Amy (played by Amy Adams, who is making more movies than would seem humanly possible), who also has one of these operating systems. Watch the trailer, and if you have a chance, go see the film. 

The temperature is dropping today; looks like our last brief flirtation with summer will be ending shortly. The heavy rain we have been having all day could have been snow, so it’s not so bad.

  

Love,

Rebecca