Just two words

Dina was out running errands and saw this sign in a store, and could not resist handing it to Julia and snapping a photo. I, of course, could not resist sharing it with all of you!

Love,

Rebecca

Did I hit a nerve?

My last post has generated more “pageviews” on this blog than any previous posts by orders of magnitude.

Guess I really hit a nerve on that one!

So, with exquisite timing, our granddaughter Eliana arrived yesterday and Barry and I are being grandparents this week!

Take that, all ye who do not appreciate grandparents!

Love,

Rebecca

Grandparents need not apply?

I have not written much about political matters over this past year or so. I realize that I have readers and friends with a wide range of viewpoints and have tried hard to respect their views and retain those friendships. But I knew I could no longer remain silent when I saw the headline in this morning’s New York Times:

Stepsister Yes, Grandma No: US Sets Guidelines for Revised Travel Ban

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/28/us/politics/homeland-security-prepares-to-issue-travel-restrictions.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share

The Supreme Court has ruled that any travel ban involving Muslim countries would not be enforced among foreign nationals who have a close familial relationship with a person in the United States. But what precisely does “close familiar relationship” mean?

According to a diplomatic cable obtained by The New York Times, “close family” is “defined as a parent (including parent­in­law), spouse, child, adult son or daughter, son­-in­-law, daughter-­in­law, sibling, whether whole or half. This includes step relationships.” But the document went on to state that “close family” does not include “grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, fiancés, and any other ‘extended’ family members.”

I recognize that grandparents may not be considered part of one's “immediate family.” But the idea that grandparents are not part of one's “close family” is beyond absurd. If the first rows at a wedding are reserved for “close family,” does that mean that the bride’s and groom’s grandparents are left to sit wherever they can find seats after they have walked down the aisle?

Under our previous President, Marian Robinson, the mother of the first lady, was often referred to as the “First Granny.” She moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue after President Obama’s 2006 inauguration along with her daughter and son-in-law, and played an active, albeit out of the spotlight, role in the children’s lives.

How can we go from that model to one in which we do not recognize grandparents as part of a close family?

Love,

Rebecca

A week in pictures

It has been a busy week and a half during which Barry travelled to Barcelona to attend a meeting. We had been in Barcelona together eight years ago but at this point the travel is simply too difficult for me. During the summer, when Sabbath does not end until after 9 pm on Saturday evening, the only way to be in Barcelona by Monday morning is to travel on the Thursday evening before. So Barry had a weekend on his own, and booked a hotel for his first couple of nights near many of the magnificent buildings designed by the late architect Antoni Gaudi (1852-1926). Quite a bit of progress has been made over those eight years in the completion of the La Sagrada Familia cathedral, the most famous of Gaudi’s works, which has been under construction since 1892 and is anticipated to be complete by the 100th anniversary of his death.  

Meanwhile, back on the home front, I spent the week in Sharon and kept busy with our grandchildren. As I was preparing this, I realized I had never written about or posted pictures of a lovely recent event in Ella’s class at Striar Hebrew Academy of Sharon (SHAS), the opening of a garden which was planted by the fourth and fifth grade classes and will continue throughout the summer and into future years, with produce to be donated to local food banks. 

Dina and Aaron hosted quite the party to celebrate Ella’s 11^th birthday last Sunday, and fortunately the weather fully cooperated. They barbequed hotdogs, served a yummy cake that Dina baked, made cotton candy (a friend owns a cotton candy machine), and roasted marshmallows. A terrific time was had by all.

Two days later was the Fifth Grade Graduation at SHAS. Here are a few pictures from that event. Because there were only eight students in Ella’s class, each was able to share their memories of their years at the school, which was quite touching and a wonderful opportunity for them to become accustomed to public speaking.

After Maya’s last day of school on Wednesday, Simmie and I took her over to Crescent Ridge Dairy, a local dairy farm that serves delicious home-made ice cream!

We found ourselves back at Crescent Ridge again the very next day, when Dina and I took all six children for an afternoon treat.

And just for a smile, here is a particularly cute look at Noah playing with my purse and shoes:

Barry returned from Barcelona late Thursday evening, and first thing Friday we headed back to New York because he had a review session this morning with the group of residents who are soon taking their board qualifying exams. We are looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet which will hopefully allow him to recover from the nasty cold he must have picked up on the flight.

Have a good week!

Love,

Rebecca

So proud of our Ella

This was posted on Facebook by the Striar Hebrew Academy of Sharon, where our granddaughter Ella is a graduating fifth grade student:

Mazel tov to Ella Saks for receiving this year's Rose Ruderman Scholars Award. Thank you to The Ruderman Family Foundation for this beautiful acknowledgement of the works of chesed and communal engagement of our children.

Mazal Tov Ella! They could not have selected a more deserving awardee. May your intelligence, kindness, and beautiful smile take you from strength to strength.

Love,

Nana (Rebecca)

Looking mahvelous

During the 1984-1985 season, comedian/actor Billy Crystal starred in a recurring skit on Saturday Night Live (SNL) in which he hosted a talk show called “Fernando’s Hideaway.” The skit was a parody of Fernando Lamas, a fairly well known Argentine-American actor and director. “Fernando” would interview various celebrities, each of whom he would tell that they “look mahvelous.” The interviews would frequently end with what became an oft quoted line, “it is better to look good than to feel good and you look mahvelous!”

Until reading about this today, more than thirty years later, I had never realized that “Fernando's Hideaway” was entirely improvised; neither the famous guests nor the writers knew what Mr. Crystal would ask during the interviews. Mostly, he just tried to make everyone laugh, which was, after all, the main goal of Saturday Night Live!

I was reminded of that great line yesterday when someone said something to me that I seem to hear fairly frequently lately, “you look terrific.” This is not a line I ever heard before the past couple of years, and I am still not quite sure what to make of it.

I have never spent a lot of time fretting about my less than stellar physique. In high school, my mother assured me that the smart boys would want to marry a smart girl, and at least I had modest academic success. During most of my adult life (before cancer) I was somewhat overweight. I do not wear makeup, and have never been a fashion trendsetter. So it is a bit unnerving to have people comment on my looks.

The other piece of this that is puzzling perhaps provides a light in which to interpret these compliments. In movies and on television shows, a good way to communicate the idea that a character is at death’s door is to stick a nasal cannula on him or her. That may well be how people react to this in real life. Perhaps those folks who feel compelled to assure me that I look “terrific” are simply expressing encouragement that they do not see the end as anywhere near. And with more than twenty years of smachot (happy occasions) ahead, I do hope their optimism is well founded.

Meanwhile, I am grateful for a house with central air conditioning. This extreme heat makes breathing difficult for everyone!

Love,

Rebecca

Food and Family

We had quite a busy week in Sharon. All twelve of us gathered for a Memorial Day Barbeque for which Barry had bought an especially large and succulent steak for our wonderful carnivore daughter Dina, who likes her meat just barely warm, and posted this on her Facebook page.

We had a lovely Shavuot on Wednesday and Thursday. Almost every year, our whole family gathers for lunch on the second day, which this year was the 20^th anniversary of Barry’s father’s passing. We feasted on fruit soup, blintzes (Simmie made potato and I made cheese, of course), vegetable quiche, and an assortment of interesting salads Dina prepared. Then of course we had cheesecake – the same one I have made, with few exceptions, every year for decades. I do enjoy Pesach but Shavuot is hands down my favorite holiday for food!

On Sunday morning, we accompanied Maya to an exhibition of work from one of her art classes. Among other things, the students had done a project using popsicle sticks and clay to construct a replica of the famous foot bridge in Giverny that Money used in his paintings of water lilies. I must say (completely unbiased) that Maya’s was quite impressive.

After the art show, Simmie and I headed up to Newton (a suburb of Boston) with Eliana and Ella to look for an outfit for Eliana to wear at her Bat Mitzvah celebration in the fall. A few of Simmie’s friends had recommended two shops about a mile from each other, and we found something at the first but decided to check out the second before making the purchase. That turned out to be a good choice because the latter store had more dresses that fit the bill. We ended up finding two that were very nice, and figuring she would need clothing for friends’ parties, I convinced Simmie to let me buy her both. This is what Nanas are for, right?

We saw an excellent movie, “The Women’s Balcony.” The movie is in Hebrew with English subtitles. I still struggle with keeping up with reading subtitles, and my Hebrew is not good enough to understand the dialogue without them, so it was a bit of a struggle, but I think I understood most of it.

For those of you who are not familiar, in traditional Orthodox synagogues, men and women sit in separate sections. Sometimes the two sections are on two sides, sometimes front and back, and sometimes the women’s section will be in a balcony. The movie begins with the celebration of a Bar Mitzvah, when a boy reaches age thirteen and begins his responsibilities as a Jewish adult. In the middle of services at the community synagogue, the unthinkable happens and the balcony collapses. Although no lives are lost, the aging Rebbitzen (wife of the Synagogue Rabbi) is left in a coma, which in turn leads the Rabbi to something of a mental breakdown. A young rabbi named David appears on the scene and offers to help lead the congregation as they rebuild and restart.

Rabbi David seems like a nice enough fellow but it quickly becomes clear that he follows rather strict traditional interpretations involving the role of women in synagogue life. This fact, combined with the community’s limited financial resources, leads to a growing rift that even has an impact on the marriages of some of the couples themselves.

Watching the movie, I really was not quite sure how it would end. I do not want to ruin it for those of you who might want to see the film, which you should do if you have the chance.

Meanwhile, have a nice week.

Love,

Rebecca