A brief break in the summer action

We have been at home in Riverdale for the past couple of weeks, so we have taken the opportunity to see three recently-released films.

#1

The first was a film called “The Best of Enemies,” a documentary about the relationship between intellectuals Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley, Jr. who appeared in a series of debates before and during the Republican National Convention and the election of Richard Nixon as president in 1968. What began as an effort on the part of ABC to capture some of the viewer share that was solidly focused on CBS (Walter Cronkite) and NBC (Chet Huntley and David Brinkley) took on a life of its own.

Buckley and Vidal were two well-known intellectuals, each of whom had unsuccessfully run for elected office. They were also the products of very wealthy families, with all the privileges that entailed. Their personal relationship was far from amicable; as you watch them they appear to share no less than disgust for one another.

The timing of the release of this film at the beginning of the process to select the next President of the United States was enlightening. Perhaps it is just another lesson of “nothing new under the sun.” But rather than the soundbites to which we are typically limited, the debates themselves were on an extremely high intellectual plane. While this topic may not be among my favorites, it was certainly a very well done documentary and worth seeing.

#2

The second film we saw was “The End of the Tour.” This movie traces a five-day period in the life of the late author David Foster Wallace (played by Jason Segel) during which he is being interviewed by David Lipsky (played by Jesse Eisenberg), a reporter for Rolling Stone, following the 1996 publication to stellar reviews of his 1000+ page epic novel, “Infinite Jest.” In the interest of transparency, I have to admit that I have not read the book, the same way that A.O. Scott admitted his potential bias in his New York Times review of this film,

…by all rights I should hate ‘The End of the Tour,’ … a portrait of the writer that has its origins in a (never-published) magazine profile. In fact, I love it.

The plot is simple. Lipsky (I will refer to the principals by their last names since they have the same given name) convinces his editor at Rolling Stone to allow him to write an article about Wallace, and he travels to Bloomington, IL, where Wallace is teaching, to conduct a few days of intense interviews with the rather reclusive author. The interest here is not only what Lipsky learns about Wallace, but also in what he learns about himself. As A.O. Scott writes (far better than I could),

David Foster Wallace is not really its subject at all. ‘The End of the Tour’ is at once an exercise in post-postmodern literary mythmaking and an unsparing demolition of the contemporary mythology of the writer. It’s ultimately a movie — one of the most rigorous and thoughtful I’ve seen — about the ethical and existential traps our fame-crazed culture sets for the talented and the mediocre alike.

Neither of the lead characters is especially likable. Wallace was a somewhat exasperating character to watch because I often could not tell whether he was trying to be humorous or he was just plain mean (it was probably some of both). Lipsky was dour, a bit hot-headed, and egocentric, just not someone with whom you would want to spend much time. It is amazing that they managed to spend five days together.

I found a fascinating 1997 interview for which Wallace sat with Charlie Rose (attached here). Sadly, David Foster Wallace was a troubled soul who ended his life in 2008 at the age of 46.

#3

In all of director Noah Baumbach’s films we have seen, the main characters are a bit flighty and self-involved young adults. First there was “The Squid and the Whale,” then “Margot at the Wedding,” and it was only a few months ago that we saw “While We’re Young” (I wrote about it on 22 April).

Having seen a trailer and briefly scanned the review, we went to see “Mistress America” somewhat expecting more of a comedy than Baumbach’s previous films. Perhaps I have lost some of my sense of humor, but it may be misleading to label it this way. I thought a lot of it was rather sad. The main characters are two young women, 30-year-old Brooke (played by Greta Gerwig) and 18-year-old Tracy (played by Lola Kirke) who find themselves thrust into some sort of relationship when the (widowed) father of one and the (divorced) mother of the other decide to get married.

This sets the two young women determined to spend some time together. Initially things go well. Tracy is in awe of Brooke, who has an amazing enthusiasm for everything and is full of grandiose ideas. But life is never that simple, and a different side of her begins to emerge that ends their brief, high energy relationship as they both return to reality. 

Speaking of reality, we are preparing for our next grandparenting extravaganza, aka Camp NanaSabba. Eliana (10) will be coming to New York with us on Monday, and we have quite a bit planned, including the Wednesday Broadway matinee of “Aladdin”, and a list of other activities, including the Museum of Natural History with the planetarium. Then on Friday we will return Eliana to her parents, spend Sabbath in Sharon, and leave first thing Sunday morning with Eliana’s sister Maya (7), because we have tickets for the noon matinee of “The Lion King.” We are also anxious to take Maya to the Museum of Modern Art, and we just discovered and downloaded to our iPhones an app for guiding children to highlights of the museum, with fun facts about some of the major paintings there.

If I do not manage to come up for air over the next two weeks, please do not worry about me. Just enjoy the rest of summer!

Love,

Rebecca

Light and joy

While there has certainly been tremendous progress in the diagnosis and treatment of cancer over the past 50 years, none of us need look very far beyond his or her circle of close friends and relatives to know people who have died of this disease. But one thing is for certain: for those who do not survive, young or old, death comes far too soon.

I started thinking about this on hearing the news that a long-time friend died on Monday of the cancer with which he had been diagnosed nearly two years ago. He was only a few years older than we are, the father of five children and nearly twice that many grandchildren, the oldest of whom is 15. This especially resonates for me, because for the last three years, my most fervent wish has been that I will dance at my grandchildren’s weddings; our friend will never have that joy.

Unlike the vast majority of men around our age, this friend was relatively unique in that he served in Vietnam. That experience certainly contributed to his personality, providing him with a somewhat different perspective on life from many of his “baby boomer” peers. The experience may well have also exposed him to chemicals that eventually caused the disease that ended his life.

Our friend’s Hebrew name was שִׂמְחָה (Simcha), which means joy, and his wife’s name is אוֹרָה  (Ora), which means light. The expression אוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה (light and joy) appears in the story of Queen Esther that we read on Purim, and has been incorporated into Havdala, the brief service conducted at the end of every Sabbath, a ritual marking the transition from the joy and tranquility of the Sabbath to the mundane concerns of everyday living:

 לַיְּהוּדִים, הָיְתָה אוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה, וְשָׂשֹׂן, וִיקָר.

 The Jews had light and gladness, and joy and honor.

Although, with the loss of their husband, father, and grandfather a big part of this family’s joy has ended, we hope that they will continue to appreciate the light that still burns in their lives.

Love,

Rebecca

A week of smiles

This may be the longest break I have taken from writing since I started blogging. We’ve had an incredibly busy 12 days.

We spent the first weekend of August in Sharon. On Sunday we took Joshua to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park. It was the first time any of us had been there. The park is 103 years old, and although there is a good deal of history we really appreciate the two modern New York City ballparks. It was a good game, with the Red Sox initially out ahead, but by the end they lost.

First thing Monday morning we packed up the car, picked up Ella, and headed to New York. We stopped at Mystic Aquarium and had a fun time there. 

Then we continued our drive to New York, arriving in time to take Ella to have her nails done before dinner at Corner Café. It is so much fun to take Ella to restaurants because what her taste lacks in variety is more than made up by her enthusiasm for the foods she likes. She must have gotten the cheesy Italian food gene from me!

On Tuesday we visited the American Girl store, where Isabelle had her hair done and we had lunch and shopped for new clothes. 

Then we went to see the movie “Inside Out,” which Ella had seen but was anxious to see again with us. This animated movie is about an 11 year old girl named Riley whose father takes a new job that moves the family from the Midwest to San Francisco. Riley’s various emotions are a bunch of characters, and we watch as they determine her mood and interact with each other. Voices include Amy Poehler as “Joy,” Lewis Black as “Anger,” and Mindy Kaling as “Disgust,” each one pitch-perfect. This film received a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and we can see shy – it is terrific for adults and children. A.O. Scott’s review ended with “Inside Out” is rated PG (Parental guidance suggested). Young children may be mildly alarmed in places, especially at the sight of their parents weeping through the last 20 minutes.”

Wednesday was the highlight of the week in our minds – we went to see the Broadway Show Matilda. This musical is about a girl whose parents did not plan or want a second child, and whose father cannot seem to accept that this child is a girl. But despite adversity and neglect, she grows to be an incredibly bright, caring, and insightful child. And in the end everyone lands where they should be. The cast was largely children. There are four girls who rotate the lead role, and the one we saw was fantastic. Ella wants to go back and see the other three!

We had dinner in that night – we learned last year that the excitement of going to Broadway and seeing a show is a full day memory in itself.

On Thursday we went to the Museum of Modern Art. Ella really enjoyed seeing the beautiful Monet and other impressionist paintings. 

For dinner we returned to Noi Due, our favorite Italian dairy restaurant. We had taken Ella there with her parents a couple of years ago, and she loved it. Unfortunately when we ate there last year after seeing the Broadway Show, she was exhausted and could not really appreciate it. So we were determined this year to pick a quieter day, and MOMA was perfect. She thoroughly enjoyed her dinner, including the breaded and fried macaroni and cheese balls and the cheese ravioli. Barry and I enjoy their sweet potato ravioli with a tomato-based sauce of diced vegetables. A lovely dinner was had by all.

On Friday we went to the Bronx highlights, the New York Botanical Garden and the Bronx Zoo. Ella has been to both but every year it is a different experience as she grows and her interests change. She picked out a large stuffed leopard to bring home.

We had a wonderful Shabbat. We went to synagogue in the morning, had lunch, and then continued to work on a 756-piece Lego set we had bought for her that she and I had been building during the week when Barry was at work. Barry and I have continued to play two games of Rummikub on Sabbath afternoons, a tradition which started while I was undergoing chemotherapy. It was fun having a third player.

On Sunday, Barry and Ella took the train up to Boston, and he got on the next train back to return to New York. It was a lot more relaxing than doing the drive and he was able to get work done, so it turned out to be a great idea. I, meanwhile, went through over a week’s worth of unopened mail and spent a few hours trying to weed through all the pictures we took, which is how I am able to include some today.

It is so quiet here now! When I woke up this morning I missed seeing that beautiful face. But we are already planning for next year.

Love,

Rebecca

An interesting documentary

In anticipation of spending three of the next five weeks with grandchildren, we went to see a movie yesterday. There is an old movie theater about 15 minutes from here that shows foreign and independent films, and we went up there to see “Amy,” a documentary film about the short and troubled life of the British jazz singer/songwriter, Amy Winehouse.

There was an impressive amount of film footage beginning in her teens, which is probably not so unusual for someone born in 1983. She had a magnificent voice and a rather soulful presence on stage. But at the bottom of it, she was a deeply troubled human being. To an outsider, it appeared she had everything going for her: a unique voice and real musical talent. But the perfectionism and the relentless publicity took their tolls, and over just a few years she deteriorated so completely that she was unable to complete scheduled performances. Was the alcohol overdose intentional? I suppose we will never really know.

There have been many tales of talented performers who suffered from severe psychiatric problems and/or addiction to drugs. Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, John Belushi, and more recently Robin Williams come to mind. It is sad to think that some or all of these may have been accidental, that they were using the drugs to dull the pain, not necessarily to end it entirely. The pressures of talent and fame are surely immense. So what separates those who survive from those who do not? James Taylor had some very rocky times in his earlier life but somehow pulled it together and now seems like one of the kindest, gentlest, and mellowest people you could ever want to know (or, it’s all an act, but I like thinking about it this way). Was that simply a matter of luck?

On a much lighter note, I came across this on Facebook this morning, and as a somewhat conflicted smartphone user, I just had to share it:

http://www.newslinq.com/smartphones-control-our-lives/#.VbjZ5oSe6Fk.email

We’re having a heat wave here in New York. Stay cool!

Love,

Rebecca

Keeping warm

In the early 1980s, Blu Greenberg, an American writer specializing in modern Judaism and women’s issues, published a book titled On Women and Judaism: A View from Tradition. This book became the basis of much of thinking around enhancing the role of women in the communal spheres that had been, and still are, largely dominated by men. Ms. Greenberg came to Dallas on a book tour, and I was thrilled to have the chance to go and listen to her speak.

Shortly before the talk began, I went to use the restroom. As I was washing my hands, I heard a small voice from one of the stalls saying “can you help me? The door seems to be stuck.” With both of us pushing, we managed to open the door, and much to my surprise I was standing face to face with Blu Greenberg. Never have I been nor ever am I likely to be given the opportunity to help someone I so admire! I have continued to hold that image with me over the years as I have had the honor of meeting and hearing her speak many times. Unfortunately, I also had the opportunity to visit her after the untimely and tragic death of her 36-year-old son in a bicycle accident in 2002.

On the Jewish calendar, today is Tisha b’Av, the 9^th day of the month of Av. Many calamitous events in Jewish history have occurred on this date, which is observed as a day of fasting and prayer. The book of Lamentations is read, along with Kinot (elegies). When we left the house to go to synagogue last evening, it was still quite warm out, and, not thinking about the possibility of too much air conditioning, I had not brought a sweater. After about a half hour I was simply frozen, and I left the sanctuary just to walk outside a bit. On my way, I saw Blu Greenberg, alone in the lobby. She asked if I was alright (a question that people often ask either because of the oxygen or because I am still a bit unsteady on my feet), and I said I was fine but frozen. Her problem was that she was wearing sandals and her feet were cold. She then said to me that there were a bunch of jackets and sweaters that had been left behind in the coat room, and despite my insistence that she needn’t worry about me, she she took it upon herself to look through the items hanging on the rack and found a sweater I could wear. I took the sweater and went back to the sanctuary for the remainder of the service.

No amount of reading lamentations can teach a lesson more eloquently than I learned from Blu last night. We have the power to make our lives better if we just stop and notice the people around us and reach out to help when help is needed. It seems such a simple lesson, something we certainly all have learned. But like so many good habits, we tend to become lax and stop noticing. Here is a person who is well known, creative, and surely has more important things to think about than my being cold. But there she was, continuing in every way to add not only a figurative but a very real touch of warmth to my life.

Love,

Rebecca

Week 1 of the 2015 Session of Camp NanaSabba

It has been another rather long break as life goes whizzing past. We had a very busy week, and the stars aligned so that no sooner was I was ready to write, our WiFi was down. Because we had plans all of last week, we had to live without it through the weekend. Much as I complain about our overreliance on connectivity, I certainly do not want to suggest that being entirely unconnected is the way to go. For me, having only that little iPhone as my sole source of connection is a very thin string indeed. But now we have a brand new modem that is much faster than what we had before, something we should have arranged a long time ago.

Despite that, we had a FABULOUS week with Joshua. We spent Shabbat in Sharon and took off with him first thing Sunday morning to catch the Mets at CitiField. It was a really good game, with quite a lot of excitement at the end: they went into a 10^th inning and the Mets won (finally, since we have so far only seen them lose). We went back to Riverdale after the game and picked up dinner at Carlos & Gabby’s, where Joshua ordered his favorite, the breaded chicken fingers.

On Monday the weather looked reasonable so we headed off to the Bronx Zoo. We took my scooter which made this nicer for me, and I think we may have even seen some things we had not seen before.

 I'm sure this Julia's parents think the world of her, but do her looks befit the name Julia? Really?

On Tuesday morning we headed over to The Intrepid, Joshua’s request after having visited last year. He and Barry took a tour through a submarine, not suitable for schlepping oxygen, so I worked on the NYT Crossword puzzle while waiting for them.

In the afternoon we went to see the new animated film, “Minions.” If my understanding is correct, this movie is a prequel to the two “Despicable Me” films. Although the review on Rotten Tomatoes was not terrific, we actually enjoyed it, and Joshua’s laughing out loud through much of it was contagious! Barry bar-b-qued dinner: hamburgers and veggie burgers with some salads he had picked up.

Wednesday was our day at the Museum of Natural History. We had taken the children there a few years ago and have gone a number of times ourselves. We ended up doing a lot of the scheduled presentations, including the planetarium. It is all but impossible to see the entire museum in a day but we enjoyed it. Joshua requested a return to Carlos and Gabby’s for dinner.

We got up first thing Thursday morning and headed off for the highlight of the 2015 session of Camp NanaSabba: Cooperstown, New York, home of the Baseball Hall of Fame. Barry had been there when he was about Joshua’s age although he remembered little of it and there have certainly been many updates and expansions since then, with fifty years and countless changes in the teams. We walked around all afternoon until even Joshua admitted he was getting tired, checked in at the hotel where Joshua swam for a bit, had some dinner and went to sleep early. Friday morning we packed up the car, headed back to the Hall of Fame and spent a few more hours in the museum and perusing the gift shops before leaving to return to New York.

  

Joshua is almost eleven years old now, with an impressive knowledge of baseball. He is energetic and funny and a complete joy to have around. He and I have a sort of game we play: with a completely straight face, he will tell me something that sounds outrageous and then wait for me to realize that he is (yet again) pulling my leg. I tend to be a very literal person so he can easily get away with this! What I find particularly endearing about this is that he understands me so well.

In a couple of weeks we will have his sister Ella, and then cousins Maya and Eliana. We have big plans for each of them.

Stay cool – it is hot out there!

Love,

Rebecca

Our trip to Canada, part 2

I left off after describing the magnificent fireworks display on Canada Day last Wednesday evening, going out with a bang, so to speak.

We never seem to be able to sleep very late, so we took off the next morning for the Jardin Botanique (Botanical Garden). Not only was it very large and very beautiful, it had a distinct advantage in our eyes of being almost entirely flat, making it much easier to get around. We certainly did not see everything but we spent a number of hours there on a beautiful day full of sunshine. 

Having made a decision to stay through the weekend, we stopped to pick up more food and check out the Festival International de Jazz de Montréal (International Jazz Festival). This annual festival is held at countless venues all over the downtown area, not far from where we were staying. This year over 3000 musicians from 30 countries performed more than 650 concerts, 450 of them free, over 9 days. The estimated attendance was 3.5 million people!

One highlight performer we saw was Adam Cohen, where the crowd was estimated at upwards of 100,000 people! Some of you may recognize the name of his father, Leonard Cohen, a native of Montréal who has been a poet, singer, and songwriter since the late 1960s. Some of his earlier compositions were popularized by other singers, for example “Suzanne” sung by Judy Collins, and his song “Hallelujah” performed by many artists over the years. Adam is much more the showman than his father, and the crowd clearly loves him.

Having gone to a number of crowded places and events over our week in Canada, we found the behavior of the crowds quite refreshing. If you ever wonder where all the politeness has gone, look north! There was surprisingly little garbage strewn around after that Adam Cohen performance, probably most of it left behind by patrons visiting from the country to the south, who seem to be accustomed to leaving garbage in public places. The other thing that was quite heartwarming was the number of times people offered assistance with the wheelchair or scooter. When we had difficulty on the cobblestones, numerous people asked if they could help. One evening, we had arrived at one of the outdoor performances a bit after it started, and sitting in my scooter I could not see a thing. A woman standing by us tried to offer us a path towards the front but we declined. A few minutes later another woman came up and simply said “this will not do” and took it upon herself to ask people to please move and let me through. Although a bit embarrassing, her act was amazingly heartwarming.

All good things must come to an end [Aside: the original line from Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 14^th century was “There is an end to everything, to good things as well.”] so on Sunday morning we headed back to New York on another gloriously sunny day. All I can say is that Barry has already checked out the dates for the 2016 festival!

Back to life in New York, next week is our first Summer Week with a Grandchild, and Joshua will be with us. We have some great plans for him.

Have a nice weekend.

Love,

Rebecca