Learning new things

Everybody (or at least it seems like everybody) has a new mobile device. Our daughter Simmie and I were the only holdouts I knew. I still have the BlackBerry Pfizer had provided me: they told me I could keep it, but I never signed up for service on my own. Barry has a BlackBerry from Mount Sinai School of Medicine. Together we have for some years owned a small cell phone that does nothing but make phone calls and which I virtually never turn on. But for many months now the pressure has been mounting to join the 21^st Century and be more reachable. In addition, my continued struggle with short term memory may be alleviated by having more necessary information literally at my fingertips. So finally, Barry and I went to a Verizon store and purchased a Galaxy Note II. Barry had spent a fair amount of time reading about the various options and had determined that this was the best combination of a reasonably sized device with the largest possible touchpad/screen, which I definitely need. It also comes with an optional stylus so does not require quite the level of manual dexterity that some of the other such devices do.

If I am being very honest with myself, I believe the reason for my reticence towards this purchase was my concern about my ability to learn how to use it. I got off to a bad start because I could not remember the password for my Gmail account. I only set up that account in the months after buying the new laptop, and I have not logged in from any other computer, so I haven’t had to call it up from the deeper recesses of my memory. Fortunately, some months ago I spent time putting together a spreadsheet that has the login and password information for all of our on-line accounts; the Excel document is on my laptop but is, I suppose you could say ironically, password protected! Long story short I remembered that password (to be fair, I do have it written down) and was able to find the password for the Gmail account. And something absolutely miraculous occurred: all the hours I spent reestablishing my life in Gmail after years in Microsoft Outlook (Pfizer) and Yahoo paid off, and in mere seconds my entire contact list and calendar appeared on my new smart phone!

I doubt I will ever learn to take advantage of all the bells and whistles on this device. But at least I have a good way of carrying around the information I need (assuming I can remember how to find it), particularly since my short term memory is still not doing as well as I would like. I have continued “playing koi” on Lumosity, and finally got to the next level where I suspect I will be for quite a long time. Tomorrow I will meet with Heidi Bender (neuropsychologist) for my first real session of cognitive therapy.

Some months ago, with Barry’s encouragement (and willingness to drive me there and back), I signed up for a course at the 92^nd Street Y in Manhattan. The course, “An Introduction to the Orchestral Music of Haydn and Mozart,” is part of a series of courses called “The World of Music,” which is described as

Join those who share a deep love of music in an environment where familiar masterpieces are made fresh and lesser known artists and masterworks become familiar. Each semester is devoted to a new topic, such as Mozart’s tumultuous career, the rise of Modernism or the history of American jazz.

The first session is next Tuesday. I am sure I will enjoy these lectures but my main concern is that Barry will come to pick me up and ask “what did you learn today?” and I, of course, will not remember. It occurs to me that I could jot down notes on my new Galaxy Note II - but only if I can figure out and then remember how to do that!

Those of you reading this may be wondering why I am suddenly talking about this memory issue so much. Maybe it is not so difficult to understand. In the early days and weeks after the diagnosis, the focus was, rightly, on simple survival against the cancer and the treatment. Then came a long period of focus on regaining strength: just walking up a flight of stairs or staying awake during a movie was a challenge. Now I am trying to rebuild my life. Notice I don’t say “go back to where I left off.” I understand that I can never turn back the clock; I have to build something new. But those efforts are more challenging in the face of the deficits. I guess you could say there was enough damage to leave me impaired, but (thankfully) not enough to leave me unaware of the extent of my impairment. Of course that is a very good thing, particularly for Barry and our two generations of offspring. I would be less than honest if I did not admit that I wake up every morning hoping to find this was all a bad dream, hoping to sit down with the newspaper or a scientific paper and read and understand it. But I try not to let those thoughts dominate my thinking all day long, so I will leave this topic before I do.

I just realized that I failed to report back on last weekend. It was wonderful! We had a quiet dinner on Friday evening. On Saturday, Eliana came over for lunch after synagogue, and stayed until after Sabbath ended. We read books and played games and talked: Eliana always has a lot to say (she even likes to talk endlessly on the telephone with us and her other grandparents). Then on Sunday morning Joshua and Ella came over for breakfast of French toast made with the leftover raisin challah from Sabbath. We spent some time showing them Lumosity – I have to say they caught on very quickly to the games, and enjoyed it so much that we decided to go ahead and buy a second membership for the grandchildren (primarily to enable me to use mine to keep track of my scores). Joshua had a birthday party to attend so had to leave around 10 but Ella stayed until noon, when she (and Eliana) went to a birthday party. When they left, Maya came over. Barry was curious to see how Maya would do with Lumosity, and I have to say she was quite impressive, catching on to the games very quickly and handling the mouse with ease and skill. She will likely be reading in the not too distant future which will open up many more of the games. If I have any problems with my new Galaxy II I probably need only call our grandchildren for help!

We are headed back into the City this afternoon, and are hoping, before my session, to make the stop at Trader Joe’s that we had to forego yesterday since we ended up spending more time than planned at the Verizon store. So I will sign off for now, and look forward to hearing from you all, or as my Texas friends would say, y’all.

Be well and stay warm!

Love,

Rebecca