In my last update, I left
off talking about pina coladas, but sooner or later we have to get back to real
life. It rained much of Thursday so I had a quiet day indoors, and started to
cook for Sabbath (more on that in a minute). The forecast called for a
beautiful day on Friday, and we woke up early and headed over to the Botanical
Garden at 7 am (it is open for members very early), even discovering a part of
the Garden we had never seen before. It was hard to tear ourselves away, but
Barry had to get to work and I had cooking to do.
We had invited our
friends Judy and Lanny and Carole and Sy to join us for lunch. With all due
modesty, I do have to say that this was one of my better efforts in the
kitchen. We started with fresh fruit soup. Our daughters have been serving
fruit soup this summer, and I asked for their recipe, read a few others, and
concocted what turned out to be a very tasty soup with blueberries and
strawberries that are in season. On Wednesday there was a farmer’s market at
Mount Sinai and Barry picked up some wonderful fruits and vegetables there. So I
made a basil and parmesan frittata, a sour cream and dill potato salad with
beautiful little fingerling potatoes Barry had bought, a fresh corn salad with
chopped cucumber and tomatoes, and a green salad with mache lettuce, pears,
craisins and balsamic vinegraitte. Our
guests brought a peach tart and mixed nuts for dessert, and we put out some watermelon
and cantaloupe. I cannot remember the last time the food I made was eaten so
well, and it was really wonderful to have them enjoy it.
We had quite an
animated conversation over lunch about Sheryl Sandberg’s book, “Lean In: Women,
Work, and the Will to Lead.” Although we have not read the book, we have heard
her interviewed on a couple of shows and have a pretty good idea of her
message. In a nutshell, she believes that many very capable women have not
achieved senior levels of responsibility and leadership because they
essentially hold themselves back. You
can read about her on any number of websites; here is a recent piece:
Barry has an
interesting perspective on this issue from having worked very closely with
medical residents for many years. Radiation Oncology is a very competitive
field, so the physicians in radiation oncology programs are young men and women
who have graduated from top medical schools, often with Ph.D. degrees along
with their M.D. degrees, and are enthusiastic young physicians. The most
prestigious road in medicine is a faculty position at a medical school that
includes both patient treatment and clinical/biomedical research, with the goal
of becoming a leader in the field. Even amongst residents in the most highly
regarded programs, a relatively small proportion will be successful pursuing
such careers. Based on Barry’s experience with large numbers of radiation
oncology residents over the past twenty-plus years, while 20-30% of the male
residents aspire to become leaders in radiation oncology, and seek positions
consistent with this goal, only about 5% of the females follow that path. It
should be noted that for both sexes, probably only about 10% of those with such
high aspirations actually achieve their lofty goals.
Sheryl Sandberg would
say, perhaps, that these bright young women are putting barriers in their own paths.
She would probably say that about me as well, and to be honest, she would be
pretty much on the mark. But is that such a bad thing? I had a wonderfully
fulfilling career for over 25 years. Could I have accomplished more? Perhaps,
but it was likely more a function of the limits of my abilities rather than the
limits resulting from my other obligations. As an amazingly devoted father even
long before this was a widespread expectation, Barry might say the same thing
about himself, and he has accomplished a great deal in his career. At the end
of the day, we accept that we are somewhat different. I am not sure it has to
be viewed in a negative way.
There are always
things to think about. But I will close for now because we are going to a
wedding this evening, the son of Sharon friends who is getting married here in
New York. We are thrilled to have been included and look forward to celebrating
with many Sharon friends who will be at the wedding.
Love,
Rebecca
No comments:
Post a Comment