Seven candles

I have written about our Sharon friend Mark, who was diagnosed with a brain tumor about a month after I was in 2012. In the fall of 2013, a third member of our Sharon synagogue community was diagnosed with linitis plastica, a cancer of the stomach. For about a year following the diagnosis, Cookie was treated with the standard chemotherapeutic regimen for this disease, which kept her condition “stable,” meaning that the lesions neither grew nor shrank significantly. The hope was that by the time the tumor might develop resistance to this regimen, something new would have come along. Unfortunately, a few months ago, the lesions began to grow. She was enrolled in a phase I clinical trial of a new drug, but despite the best efforts of an outstanding team at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Cookie died last evening, leaving behind her husband, four children (the first of which was recently engaged to be married), sister, and father.

An hour or so before Cookie breathed her last, the seventh day of Chanukah began. Jews traditionally light candles each night corresponding to the day of the holiday, with an additional candle (the “shamash”) used to light the others. I could not help but think last evening that Cookie was playing the role of the “shamash,” doing her best to provide a light for these seven mourners that will undoubtedly continue to shine in their hearts for the rest of their lives.

On hearing of a death, the Jewish tradition is to respond “Baruch Dayan Emet,” “Blessed is the True Judge.” I must admit that I am having a difficult time with this sentiment for a person who should have had so much of life ahead of her. Like decisions reached by the human judicial system, mere mortals must come to accept the heavenly judgments, even though we may not always understand them.

Love,

Rebecca