A different approach

We had a relatively quiet Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year). We had decided to stay in New York because Barry wanted to be able to teach his class the day after the holiday and because we will soon be heading up to Sharon to celebrate the remainder of the fall holidays and, more importantly, to await the arrival of the 12^th member of our Rosenstein family. It was nice to see old friends and especially nice to be at Hebrew Institute of Riverdale where the prayer services are always quite moving, particularly on these fall holidays.

Rabbi Avi Weiss gave a particularly heartwarming talk on Shabbat morning. For those who are not familiar with the Jewish calendar, the fall begins with Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, on the 1^st day of the month of Tishrei. This holiday sets off a ten day period of taking stock of ourselves that leads to Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, on the 10^th of Tishrei. There is a very extensive prayer liturgy for Yom Kippur, with much of the day spent reviewing the things we have done over the past year. There is a specific formula for reciting the list of activities for which we are asking forgiveness. It is relatively easy to sit in synagogue all day, even without food or drink, and seek forgiveness from an abstract being. What is a bit trickier is actually seeking forgiveness from other human beings we may have wronged. Just taking the first step of admitting the failings to ourselves is sometimes a show stopper. Throughout the day, we repeat a standard formula of confessions. Even though not every one of us will have failed in every area, all the confessions are said in plural (“we have sinned”) to remind us that we always have some room for improvement.

But what if, just for a moment, we turned it around, and started to think about some of the good things we have done this year? We are often reminded that the best way to teach good behavior to children is by example. Can we adults also be helped by example? With that in mind, Rabbi Weiss teamed with the Rabbinic staff at our synagogue and came up with a list of positive confessions for which we can also strive. Rather than beating ourselves up for all the things we have done wrong, perhaps it is useful to take a moment to remind ourselves of all the things we have done or could be doing right.

Here are the two lists, side by side. In Hebrew the lists are alphabetized.

Traditional Confession (Vidduy)	Future Goals
We have become guilty	We have loved
We have betrayed	We have blessed
We have robbed	We have grown
We have spoken slander	We have spoken positively
We have caused perversion	We have raised up
We have caused wickedness	We have shown compassion
We have sinned willfully	We have acted enthusiastically
We have extorted	We have been empathetic
We have accused falsely	We have cultivated truth
We have given evil counsel	We have given good advice
We have been deceitful	We have respected
We have scorned	We have learned
We have rebelled	We have forgiven
We have provoked	We have been creative
We have turned away	We have stirred
We have been perverse	We have been spiritual activists
We have acted wantonly	We have been just
We have persecuted	We have longed for Israel
We have been obstinate	We have been merciful
We have been wicked	We have given full effort
We have corrupted	We have supported
We have been abominable	We have contributed
We have strayed	We have repaired

There is little risk that anyone observing this solemn day will get carried away with putting tick marks on the list on the right side and convincing themselves they need no longer worry about the list on the left. Instead, I believe that the right side provides a plan for addressing the failings on the left. And surely a little more of those positive attributes could do a world of good during these very trying times.

We did squeeze in a quick movie, “The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years,” a new documentary about the Beatles made by Ron Howard. One of the other guests at a friend’s house for lunch yesterday asked if we had learned anything about the Beatles we did not already know. To be honest, I cannot say that we did. But there was certainly footage we had never seen, or never remember having seen, and all in all it was nearly 2½ hours of great fun, tracking the band from when they first came together through when they stopped touring in August 1966. If you were a fan, or even if the music just brings a smile to your face, you should see this one!

Love,

Rebecca