Visiting with my
mother and sister dredged up an old memory. Actually, it was Barry who reminded
me of this incident, which occurred shortly before I left for college.
I was the second of
five children. When I graduated high school at 18, my older brother was almost
20, and my younger sisters were 15, 12, and 5. Our family had moved from St.
Louis to West Hartford, Connecticut during the summer before my senior year. This
move forced me to give up my friends, my top-10 high school academic rank, and many
extracurricular activities. Despite this, I managed to have a pretty good
senior year and made many new friends.
On a Sunday just
after graduation, my parents planned a family day trip to the Catskill Game
Farm, a zoo in upstate New York that has since closed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catskill_Game_Farm).
My brother and I, and
perhaps my 12- and 15-year old sisters as well, were a bit old for this sort of
thing, but I would have gone along willingly if not for the fact that one of my
friends was hosting a big graduation party that day to which everyone was going. I can still remember
the pleas and the tears. But my parents were insistent that I go with the
family.
I remember very
little of the place because, although I am sure it was lovely, and I might have
enjoyed being there with my little sister had the timing been different, I
refused to enjoy it. But clearly the memory of that day stuck with me so strongly
that over a year later, when Barry and I started dating, I was still talking
about it.
Barry and I were
reminded of this because we were thinking about taking the family to a
performance of Disney on Ice during the winter break. But we recognize that
Joshua is probably a bit old for these sorts of activities now. He might be
much happier getting together with friends than going to a show clearly targeted
at younger children. This is exactly how it should be: children grow and their
interests change, and we parents and grandparents have to shift our plans and expectations.
We see this on a regular basis during our visits to Sharon. These days, the
children’s plans with their friends often trump whatever the rest of the family
is doing. This is especially true for the Sabbath daytime meal after synagogue,
when the older children often invite friends or are invited to their homes. Although
the selfish part of me misses having them around the table, I am thrilled to
see that they are so popular!
Barry and I have had
an ongoing discussion about this for a couple of years now, wondering if at
some point our going to Sharon so frequently might not make as much sense as it
did six years ago when we started spending most of our weekends there. Maya is
only 5, so we had decided to table this discussion for another year or two. But
as it turns out, we hope to table it for much longer. Some of you already know why:
our daughter Dina and her husband Aaron are expecting a third child at the end
of March. We are excitedly awaiting this new addition to our family.
It is quite cold
outside, but I have an appointment with my pulmonologist today so I will be venturing
out. I finally get to use the new scarf that Barry bought me when he was in the
UK, along with the new wine-colored LL Bean Mad Bomber hat I bought to match
it.
Stay warm!
Love,
Rebecca
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