Legacy

Every day thousands of people around the world die, some old and some young, some from illness and some from accidents, some by the hands of others with moral justification and some by the hands of others with little moral ground. However and whenever it occurs, the end of each person’s life is a cause of sadness for those who knew her or him. I have been thinking about this as I have read and heard the news of the death at age 44 of David Goldberg, CEO of SurveyMonkey, husband of Facebook CFO Sheryl Sandberg, and father of two young children.

Many people exercise on treadmills every day, trying to stay alive longer than they might otherwise. Many of them carry out their daily fitness regimens alone. The good news, if there can be any good news, is that this sort of accident is a rare event. But that is small solace to a family who has this experience.

I, of course, never had the pleasure of meeting David Goldberg, and if the tables were turned I cannot imagine that he would feel as sad about me as I do about him. But why do I feel this way about someone I never knew? From what has been written about him, he seemed to have been a pretty decent guy. At the same time, should I not feel a similar level of sadness for the many innocents who die prematurely of illness or natural disasters or in wars? The sad truth is that if we spend excessive time focusing on bad news about people we do not know, or about every danger that can befall us or our loved ones, we would hardly be able to get out of bed every morning.

Since hearing this news a couple of days ago, I have been walking around singing an old David Roth song called “Legacy.” Unfortunately, I have been unable to load it onto the blog but I’ve attached it to the e-mail. Here are the words if you are unable to listen.  I wish I could share it with Sheryl Sandberg.

LEGACY © 1986 David Roth

An aging man, a younger one, and a woman in her prime
Connected by their circumstance of birth
A father, son and daughter somehow all obsessed to find
The mark that each will leave upon this earth

Alone is his apartment in his favorite easy chair
The aging man endures his failing health
Nowadays preoccupied arranging his affairs
And adding up the value of his wealth

He says a prayer and falls asleep, then somewhere in a dream
He's searching for his children and he's calling out to them
"Will I leave enough behind to help you get along
Please tell me how will I be counted when I'm gone

It won't be by your worldy goods, it won't be by your gains
And not among possessions you bequeath
But wisdom, grace and kindness and the power of your love will be
The measure of the legacy you leave

The working day is over and the woman in her prime
Alone now in her office looks around
An unfulfilling business is the only sight she sees
The ticking of the clock, the only sound

She closes up and locks the door and trudges down the hallTakes her window seat that evening on the train

She stares out in the darkness but the only thing she sees
A reflection of her weariness and strain

Her mind begins to wander, she remembers all the yearsOf the struggle and persistence that go into such careers

And here she was with everything she'd worked so hard to win
And such an empty feeling burning deep within

Another late and lonely night, the younger man walks home
And slowly climbs the several flights of stairs
He pulls the shade and locks the door, unplugs the only phone
Puts himself to bed and says his prayers

A blessing for my aging dad, my sister in her prime
And a woman I once loved who got away
And for all those wasted moments when I took them all for granted
And for words I never had the nerve to say

Another night of drifting in and out of restless dreams
Of unborn children, marriage, and the lives that might have been
But lives that might have been are only lives that never were
And all I'll ever know's that I'll never know for sure

Here's to every aging person and to all those in their prime
And to passing on the love that you receive
For wisdom, grace and kindness and the power of that love will be
The measure of the legacy you leave

The power of your love will be

The measure of the legacy you leave.

Love,

Rebecca