Day 37 (100%)

I was never able to find a song with the number 37. But even if I had, I think I would have opted for this 1974 Dan Fogelberg classic for this final day. Dan died of prostate cancer a few months after his 56^th birthday in 2007, and the songs says so much of what I am feeling today.

Part of the Plan (Dan Fogelberg)

I have these moments all steady and strong
I'm feeling so holy and humble
The next thing I know I'm all worried and weak
And I feel myself starting to crumble

The meanings get lost and the teachings get tossed
And you don't know what you're going to do next
You wait for the sun but it never quite comes
Some kind of message comes through to you
Some kind of message comes through

And it says to you

Love when you can, cry when you have to
Be who you must, that's a part of the plan
Await your arrival with simple survival
One day we'll all understand

I had a woman who gave me her soul
But I wasn't ready to take it
Her heart was so fragile and heavy to hold
And I was afraid I might break it

Your conscience awakes and you see your mistakes
And you wish someone would buy your confessions
The days miss their mark and the night gets so dark
And some kind of message comes through to you
Some kind of message shoots through

And it says to you

Love when you can, cry when you have to
Be who you must, that's a part of the plan
Await your arrival with simple survival
And one day we'll all understand

There is no Eden or heavenly gates
That you're gonna make it to one day
But all of the answers you seek can be found
In the dreams that you dream on the way

On this final day, I am wearing the other t-shirt given to me by our sister-in-law Jody, with a most appropriate message for this moment.

So, finally, time to try to move on. I am hopeful that some of the side effects of the treatment will start to abate and I will be able to sleep better and regain some energy. No one can say just how long that might take, but the fact that I have three months before my first follow-up visit suggests it may be a while. I will try to be patient, and I know I will appreciate not having to get up and out of the house early every morning.

For those who are observing Sukkot, enjoy the holiday!

Love,

Rebecca