Too much entertainment?

Three hours at Yankee Stadium, watching and listening to the constant stream of “entertainment” quite separate from the game gave me pause. Just because the technology exists to create and broadcast those images does not mean we must have them non-stop, that we cannot separate ourselves for a few short hours from videos and “kiss cams.” Music at the ball park used to consist of The Star Spangled Banner before the start of the game, with Take Me Out to the Ball Game and perhaps the Mexican Hat Dance during the seventh inning stretch. There was a scoreboard that simply showed the tallies of balls and strikes, hits and runs. That scoreboard has been replaced with an electronic version, but while the design is basically the same, every free moment is filled with flashing lights and views of fans waving at the roving cameras.

Yesterday a young man proposed to his girlfriend at the park. I have heard that elaborate engagements have become quite popular, with some young men spending significant amounts of money to stage memorable events. This one during the game must have been prearranged, although I could not tell whether or not she was surprised. But two thoughts come to mind, neither of them especially positive. First, what if she does not wish to marry him? How awkward would it be if he popped the question and she responded “no, thank you, it has been fun but I cannot see spending my whole life with you”? Second, where does he go from here? What will he ever be able to do to top that? It seems to me that if you start with an elaborate engagement in front of 30,000 people, you have nowhere to go but downhill.

I want to believe that the fellow who goes to that much trouble to impress the young lady will be the one who stays up with a sick child or spends nights in the hospital where his wife is undergoing chemotherapy. I am just not sure that willingness to stage an elaborate marriage proposal requires the same skill and compassion as those more challenging events in our lives. I just hope this young man can rise to the cause.

Late last night we all heard the news of Robin Williams’ death. He was certainly a talented fellow who had an impressive career. People come to feel that they “know” these celebrities. For years I was such an avid Carole King fan that I just assumed she must know me (just to avoid any confusion here, Carole and I have never met)! Today, hearing so much about Robin Williams, I cannot help but think about all the people around the world who died yesterday in wars or from sickness or starvation. We might want to use some of the prayers and wishes for Mr. Williams’ family to make a larger plea for the end of tragic loss in all of its forms.

Love,

Rebecca 

Denial?

For the first few years that I had annual mammography to screen for breast cancer, I had it done at Mount Sinai. At that time, the facility was old and run-down, the scheduling was difficult, and it was overall a rather unpleasant experience. So I asked my physician to recommend a nicer place, and for the past ten years or so I have had the annual screening at a “fancy” facility in midtown Manhattan. Not only was the office quite nice, but they were able to read and interpret the scans while the patients were still there, avoiding the need to return for additional scans, which happens fairly frequently for me. But now that I am not working in midtown Manhattan, this has become quite inconvenient, so I decided to give Mount Sinai another try. They gave me an appointment at one of their locations near the hospital in Manhattan.

I had the mammogram about six weeks ago. I was rather surprised to simply be sent on my way when it was done, but that was what they did. A few days later I received a call from my physician that I needed to return for additional scans, nothing to worry about but they just wanted to be sure.

I was busy with grandchildren at that point, so I put it off. In fact, I was just annoyed about it. Why couldn’t they have looked at it when I was there? Since last week was relatively quiet, I made an appointment.  This time they sent me to a different facility, the new Dubin Breast Center at 1176 Fifth Avenue. From the moment I walked through the door I knew I was in the right place, a modern center that feels more like a spa than a medical office.

It goes without saying that I would not be telling this story so cheerfully if there had been anything untoward. In fact, after waiting for only a few minutes, they told me that everything looked fine, handed me a clean report, and sent me on my way. It was only at that point that the whole thing hit me. Rather than the fear and anxiety most women understandably feel during such an experience, I was simply annoyed at the inconvenience. Why?

I think this may have something to do with what Dr. DeAngelis said to me when we talked about the pros and cons of undergoing radiation therapy. Recognizing that the benefit of the additional therapy is unclear (clinical trials are ongoing), Dr. DeAngelis was concerned about potential side effects. Referring to my rare pulmonary condition and my relatively rare cancer, she said, “lightning does not usually strike twice in the same place, but for you it has.”  Now that I have had these two lightning strikes I must have figured there is a low probability of a third. However, what I had failed to consider in that calculation is that breast cancer is, unfortunately, not as rare as being struck by lightning. So I guess it is fair to say that I am still vulnerable. The primary CNS lymphoma did not turn out to be a “get out of jail free” card after all.  

We had a fun day on Sunday. Early in the morning we headed over to the New York Botanical Gardens. We have not been over there as much this year as in the past two years, in part because of the time spent with our grandchildren visiting (the NYBG was not on the top of their lists of fun things to do). The Native Plants garden, which was under construction during my chemotherapy in 2012 and opened last year, has really blossomed, so to speak. There are many more wildflowers and everything has grown taller and filled in. Here are a couple of pictures.

Continuing our fun day in the Bronx, we went from the gardens to Yankee Stadium for an afternoon game. Unfortunately, the Cleveland Indians beat the Yankees 4 to 1, but we still had a good time. And they gave out hats…

Have a great week.

Love,

Rebecca 

Whitehall Street

Barry had an interesting errand to run this morning. With his main research project involving an international consortium, he is travelling to Europe more frequently than he has in the past. He recently learned that, for a modest fee, international travelers can enroll in the US Customs “Trusted Traveler Program,” which allows expedited customs and passport control upon return to the United States. The status also includes approval for TSA’s pre-check program, which enables less time to be spent getting through airport security. To complete the process, the applicant must appear in person at an enrollment center, and there happens to be one at the  US Customs House in Manhattan downtown on Whitehall Street.

I am not sure if I have ever been on Whitehall Street, but the name is certainly familiar to me. Back in 2013 I posted a link to a video of Arlo Guthrie singing his famous long and winding tale, “Alice’s Restaurant.” Arlo talks about having to visit the Selective Service office on Whitehall Street in the late 1960s:

They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York, and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I walked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper and said "kid, see the psychiatrist in room 604."

I was a bit apprehensive about Barry going down there. Lower Manhattan is not on a nice grid like most of the City, as it dates back a very long time, so it is easy to get lost. But he was able to find his way down there, and just like Arlo tells it, the man asked him “have you ever been arrested?” and Barry was tempted

…to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that…

But he thought better of it, and just said “no,” and he was approved for the program.

We are staying in New York this weekend. The Yankees are playing a day game on Sunday and the weather is supposed to be nice, so Barry bought tickets for us.

Have a great weekend!

Love,

Rebecca

When will the sadness end?

Today is the 9^th day of the Hebrew month of Av (Tisha b’Av), a dark day in Jewish history. Tisha B’Av is an annual fast day in Judaism which commemorates the destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and the subsequent exile of the Jews from the Land of Israel. The day also commemorates other tragedies which occurred on the same day, including the Roman massacre of over 100,000 Jews at Betar in 132 CE, and over the years has come to include such events as the 20^th century Holocaust. Instituted by the rabbis in the 2nd-century, Tisha B'Av is regarded as the saddest day of the Jewish calendar.

On the eve of the holiday, we sit on the floor of the synagogue and read Lamentations, a compilation of poetic laments for the destruction of Jerusalem, followed by some traditional elegies. In the morning, additional elegies are read, and many synagogues have programs throughout the day. Unlike the biblical holidays and the Sabbath, work is not prohibited, so many people work at least part of the day, although I always found myself becoming a bit foggy by the afternoon. It is afternoon now as I write this, and I hope it will be somewhat coherent.

When I was in my early twenties and first became more traditionally observant of Jewish laws and customs, I found the sensory immersion on this day, like that of so many Jewish holidays, to be very appealing. As we gather with friends and sit on the floor of the darkened sanctuary listening to the sad words, it is difficult not to feel the tug of heartstrings.

But the last couple of years, and particularly this year, I have had trouble with this. I know I keep returning to this same theme, but looking at the immense pain and suffering of the last few weeks I am more distraught and confused than ever at why we humans cannot get our collective act together and find a peaceful solution for this tiny strip of land.

Unfortunately, no matter how far back we go to try to sort out the conflict, someone else can go back one step before that and shift the perspective. Until, of course, we return to creation, when there was just one person, Adam, who had no sparring partner. But how long did it take for us humans to start killing each other? Just one generation, when Adam and Eve’s son Cain killed his brother Abel. I am no historian but it seems to me that we have been quite expert at killing each other ever since. We may think we are more sophisticated and civilized than our ancient ancestors, but at the end of the day, I fear we are not.

Although people often wish each other “an easy fast,” the traditional and perhaps more correct greeting for this day is “a meaningful fast.” Getting through these next 7 hours of the fast pales next to the more significant task we humans have at hand. I only wish we were as able to conquer that as I will be to hold off eating until dinner.

Love,

Rebecca 

Bubbly Girl

Here is Maya in a bubble at the Gazillion Bubbles Show!

A fabulous five days

We had a great time with Maya. She is always a pleasure to be around, always interested in what we have to say and asking lots of deep questions. This morning I remarked to Barry that I wish I had jotted down all those little Maya quips. Sitting here now, it is difficult to repeat specifics, but I am filled with this wonderful warm feeling from having been in her presence for the last few days. We kept busy but Maya is an excellent judge of her own limits. Yesterday we had talked about heading over to one of the art museums after the morning and lunch at American Girl. Maya has a book she enjoys about a girl who imagines she steps inside some of the classic paintings and becomes part of their stories. In that book, there is a picture of a painting with circles inside of squares that Maya learned about from her Kindergarten teacher. At first she was frustrated that she could not remember the name of the artist but then she blurted out “Kandinsky!” How many of us would know that even now, let alone at 6?

But when the time came to drive uptown, Maya was quite definitive that she did not wish to go to the museum, she just wanted to go back to our house and rest. Many children would just want to go to the next exciting thing, but Maya knows her limits and is able to pace herself even better than we can. Other than her eating habits (her diet consists of pizza and macaroni and cheese with some fruit and occasional vegetables) it is hard to believe that she is only turning 6 in a few weeks. Overall, it was a simply delightful four days.

Here are a few pictures. The first two were taken at Mystic Aquarium.

  

This was taken at Legoland,

And this one at home with the new set we built.

 

This last one is at American Girl.

We are waiting for the Maya-inside-a-bubble picture from the Gazillion Bubbles Show and I will post that when I have it.

Observant as she is, she did (thankfully) not quite catch on to what was happening at the table next to us during our lunch in the café at American Girl. A little girl who appeared to be a bit older than Maya was sitting with her father. You do not see many men at AG, so at first I found it quite endearing that the father so loved his little girl that he would participate in this rather girl-centric activity, as Barry does his granddaughters. But my first impression quickly gave way to great sorrow, as the father spent nearly the entire time on his cell phone, leaving the little girl squirming in her seat and glaring at her father rather than playing the little discussion-generating ideas that are printed on small cards in a box on each table (Maya loved these and is still talking about some of them). When it came time for their desert to be served, he asked the waitress to bring the check and told her they would not be staying for desert. The little girl seemed heartbroken; I almost wished I could reach out and ask her to join us!

I realize that there may have been any number of good explanations for what was going on. Perhaps the father had received a phone call of an emergency with a family member. But I have to say that there was nothing in his demeanor that suggested anything untoward had occurred; he simply sounded like he was “working.” Why did he bring her there in the first place? Was her mother supposed to come and unable to do so, or did he think he was doing a nice thing for his daughter, accruing points he can use to prove what a great father he is?  

These events and the dolls and clothes and accessories are not inexpensive, and there are certainly other ways to spend our money. But as you can see from the pictures I have posted with Eliana, Ella, and now Maya, it is a wonderful experience, and we look forward to doing it many more times in the future with our four granddaughters.

Have a nice weekend.

Love,

Rebecca 

Can I keep up?

We have another fun week of grandparenting coming up. We are in Sharon, and tomorrow Maya will return with us to New York. Maya is almost 6 now. She is bright and inquisitive and generally a very happy girl. The rare moments when she reminds us that she is, in fact, only six years old, are reserved for the sole benefit of her parents. With us, she is a charming angel. In fact, when I think about whether I can “keep up” with Maya, I do not mean physically (although this is always a concern), but rather mentally. She thinks about things, asks lots of questions, and really absorbs the explanations. You can just see the wheels turning in her head. Before long I suspect that I will be going to her with questions!

Meanwhile, we needed a little down time so we snuck out to see the newly released film written and directed by Richard Linklater, “Boyhood.” This film, which received a 99% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, traces the life of a family over 12 years beginning when the young brother and sister are about 6 and 8 years old. Rather than producing the film with a series of actors of varying ages, the film was shot over a twelve year period with all the same actors, both the children and the adults. The parents were played by Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette, and the children by Ellar Coltrane and Lorelei Linklater (a daughter of the screenwriter/director).

The project was certainly a risky one. How could Mr. Linklater be sure that the children he selected for those roles would continue to be credible actors as they went through their difficult teenage years? There are many examples of children who are terrific in films or television shows when they are young, but seem to lose something as they age. A recent example is the character Luke on “Modern Family,” played by Nolan Gould. As a little boy Luke was adorable, but as an adolescent he has become rather awkward and much less endearing. My guess is that it was some combination of skill and luck that the main child in “Boyhood,” who is a young boy at the beginning of the film and a college freshman at the end, was a good enough actor to continue to be quite a believable character throughout.

It is a long film but definitely worth seeing if you have a chance. Barry read somewhere that this film needs to be seen a few times to really absorb and appreciate the details. It will almost assuredly make its way to television and it will be worth watching again.

We ended the day with a family barbeque (minus Joshua, who returns from camp tomorrow). It rained on and off through the afternoon but fortunately stopped long enough to cook outdoors. Dina prepared a bunch of grilled vegetables and also grilled pineapple. I need to get that recipe – it was really delicious!

We have a busy week ahead with Maya. Stay well.

Love,

Rebecca