Denial?

For the first few years that I had annual mammography to screen for breast cancer, I had it done at Mount Sinai. At that time, the facility was old and run-down, the scheduling was difficult, and it was overall a rather unpleasant experience. So I asked my physician to recommend a nicer place, and for the past ten years or so I have had the annual screening at a “fancy” facility in midtown Manhattan. Not only was the office quite nice, but they were able to read and interpret the scans while the patients were still there, avoiding the need to return for additional scans, which happens fairly frequently for me. But now that I am not working in midtown Manhattan, this has become quite inconvenient, so I decided to give Mount Sinai another try. They gave me an appointment at one of their locations near the hospital in Manhattan.

I had the mammogram about six weeks ago. I was rather surprised to simply be sent on my way when it was done, but that was what they did. A few days later I received a call from my physician that I needed to return for additional scans, nothing to worry about but they just wanted to be sure.

I was busy with grandchildren at that point, so I put it off. In fact, I was just annoyed about it. Why couldn’t they have looked at it when I was there? Since last week was relatively quiet, I made an appointment.  This time they sent me to a different facility, the new Dubin Breast Center at 1176 Fifth Avenue. From the moment I walked through the door I knew I was in the right place, a modern center that feels more like a spa than a medical office.

It goes without saying that I would not be telling this story so cheerfully if there had been anything untoward. In fact, after waiting for only a few minutes, they told me that everything looked fine, handed me a clean report, and sent me on my way. It was only at that point that the whole thing hit me. Rather than the fear and anxiety most women understandably feel during such an experience, I was simply annoyed at the inconvenience. Why?

I think this may have something to do with what Dr. DeAngelis said to me when we talked about the pros and cons of undergoing radiation therapy. Recognizing that the benefit of the additional therapy is unclear (clinical trials are ongoing), Dr. DeAngelis was concerned about potential side effects. Referring to my rare pulmonary condition and my relatively rare cancer, she said, “lightning does not usually strike twice in the same place, but for you it has.”  Now that I have had these two lightning strikes I must have figured there is a low probability of a third. However, what I had failed to consider in that calculation is that breast cancer is, unfortunately, not as rare as being struck by lightning. So I guess it is fair to say that I am still vulnerable. The primary CNS lymphoma did not turn out to be a “get out of jail free” card after all.  

We had a fun day on Sunday. Early in the morning we headed over to the New York Botanical Gardens. We have not been over there as much this year as in the past two years, in part because of the time spent with our grandchildren visiting (the NYBG was not on the top of their lists of fun things to do). The Native Plants garden, which was under construction during my chemotherapy in 2012 and opened last year, has really blossomed, so to speak. There are many more wildflowers and everything has grown taller and filled in. Here are a couple of pictures.

Continuing our fun day in the Bronx, we went from the gardens to Yankee Stadium for an afternoon game. Unfortunately, the Cleveland Indians beat the Yankees 4 to 1, but we still had a good time. And they gave out hats…

Have a great week.

Love,

Rebecca