Sobering thoughts

Yesterday I wrote a bit about the death of the actor, Robin Williams. I talked about this in the context of a time when so many people are dying prematurely all over the world. I woke up at 3 am this morning thinking about an incident I have heard Rabbi Avi Weiss recall on a number of occasions over the years, and was amazed to quickly find his own words with a few clicks

A favorite personal story reinforces this idea.  My mother of blessed memory, and father made aliyah (emigrated to Israel) years ago.  Whenever my parents flew to New York, it was my responsibility, as their only child living there, to meet them at the airport.   

One time my father called me to inform me that at the last moment, their arrival was moved up by twenty-four hours.  Professing my deep love for my parents, I insisted that I couldn’t change my schedule on such short notice.   

“You’ve become a hotshot Rabbi," my father responded, “and don’t have time for your parents?”  “I love you deeply," I protested, “but it’s difficult to alter plans at the last minute."   

I’ll never forget my father’s response.  "Don’t love me so much, just pick me up at the airport."   

(you can find the entire talk at

http://www.hir.org/a_weekly_gallery/6.8.08H-weekly.html

Rav Avi has told this story in many contexts, but the message is clear: it is easy to love the world, but much more difficult to love just one person.

Perhaps the same can be said for the way we often feel about people who are famous. Given the frequency of divorce among celebrities, it is clear that they find it difficult to love just one person, but they undoubtedly love their fans. While millions of people “loved” Robin Williams, we might not appreciate being loved by someone who put so much of his energy into his career.

The other question I was pondering at 3 am was the appropriateness of reporting the details surrounding the cause of his untimely death. But then it struck me that the thing about hanging is that there is no question of the intent. Overdoses of drugs or even gunshot wounds could be accidental, but wrist slashing and hanging are unequivocal signs of an unbearably deep depression. We have personally known a small number of people who took their own lives despite significant attempts at intervention by well-regarded professionals. The suicide of someone who surely had access to the best resources is a stark reminder that we still have so much to learn about the human brain and how to repair it when it malfunctions.

He was obviously a tortured soul in life. Hopefully his next journey will be a happier one.

Love,

Rebecca