Not in our stars

We have white shower curtain liners in both bathrooms of our Sharon apartment. I have been noticing for some time now that the bottom part of the liner in the master bath, the one used most frequently, has turned a rather unpleasant brownish color. I had already bought a new one, but decided to try washing this otherwise perfectly good one first to see if the stain might come out.

I was able to get the curtain down on my own, and, after running it through a wash, the stain is not completely gone but much less apparent, so I decided we could get more use out of it. But when it was done washing I quickly realized that I needed help hanging it back up. Rather than get on a stepstool, and run the risk of falling and not only hurting myself but having Barry very annoyed with me, I asked him to help me with it. While he was putting it back up I said something about how brown it had gotten, to which he replied, “yes, it had.”

Here is my question: we both noticed the shower curtain needed attention, but why was I the one to take care of it?

In Act 1, Scene II of Shakespeare’s play, Julius Caesar, Cassius says

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,

But in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Is it nature or is it nurture? I’m not sure. But what I do recognize is that what makes a marriage work is for each of the parties to recognize that the other may have special skills and talents that, working together and capitalizing on those strengths, can make their lives better. So while I may sometimes wish that Barry was even a fraction of the neat freak that I am, I have to stop and remind myself that I would be blessed if I could have even a fraction of his steady temperament.

Having reached our 40^th anniversary this year, I feel I need a pithy answer when someone asks about the secret of our long relationship. I tend to reply that we have been very fortunate. But perhaps the answer is not only in our stars but in our selves.

Love,

Rebecca