For the last couple
of days I have practically torn the house apart. It started with a search for a
particular sweater I wanted to wear now that the weather has grown colder. But
suddenly yesterday I remembered that there were three other sweaters that had
gone AWOL. Now I started to become suspicious. So, although we no longer have
the receipt for the winter clothes we took to the local dry cleaners last
spring and picked up shortly thereafter, we stopped in in to ask if by any chance
they had come across four sweaters. The very nice lady, who knows Barry quite
well from his regular visits, insisted that they had none of our clothing sitting unclaimed. We came home and I was
pretty much ready to just call it quits on those sweaters when the phone rang –
the lady from the dry cleaner found my sweaters! Barry went right up there and
it turns out they also had a pair of his pants. Note to self: keep a list of
the items we take to the cleaners!
Yesterday in the
memoir writing course we had a few in-class assignments. So Janet, the instructor,
said to our all-female class, “this next assignment is one I have wanted to use
for a class sometime, but the last couple of years every class has had some
males. So now is my chance!” The assignment was to write something about
monthly periods or menopause. Most shared stories of their first time. A number
of their mothers had not had “the talk” with them and those made for
interesting stories. I do not have any dramatic story to tell, but I started
writing about how girls are developing at much younger ages than they used to,
and with a granddaughter who is 8 years old it may not be long before the next
generation comes of age. And then I wrote:
“Note
to self: a new idea for an American Girl doll accessory: little pads!”
I don’t think anything I have written in class
has ever received a bigger laugh.
We have seen a couple
of movies. The first was a documentary called “Casting by…,” about Marion
Doherty, who for many years was a widely acclaimed casting director for films.
There were wonderfully fascinating interviews with a wide variety of actors and
directors who had worked with her over the years, as well as some other
well-known casting directors, such as Juliet Taylor, a name that Woody Allen
fans will recognize. We had never really thought about this, but there is no
Oscar award category for casting. Late in Ms. Doherty’s life, there was a significant
effort to change this involving an enormous number of signatures from quite influential
actors and directors. But in the end, The Motion Picture Academy refused to add
this award. Ms. Doherty died a couple of years ago, and in many ways we felt
that this movie was the tribute she should have been able to hold in her hands
before she died. It was a well done and moving documentary.
The other movie we
saw was “All is Lost.” There is just one actor in this movie, Robert Redford,
and other than a brief monologue at the beginning, there is no speaking. He
plays a rugged 70-something who takes off solo in a magnificent yacht on a long
trip in the crystal blue waters of the Indian Ocean between Indonesia and
Madagascar. One night the boat runs into the remains of a large shipping
container filled with sneakers that had fallen from a cargo ship. After he
pushes away from the container, he sees that his yacht is left with a large
hole in its side. With great calm and ingenuity he manages to patch the hole,
but can no longer use any of his water-logged navigational or communications
equipment. He calmly pulls out maps and charts a course. But the worst is yet
to come when he sails into a severe storm. By the end of this harrowing event,
he is left on a small inflatable raft with a small emergency kit and little
food and water in the middle of a huge ocean. There are a couple of instances
where he can see boats in the distance but they do not see the emergency flares
he sends into the air.
Truth be told, I did
not really see the entire movie. I found it so excruciatingly painful that
there were periods I simply could not watch. Not wanting to disrupt Barry or
the other movie-goers, which would have happened had I tried to leave the
theater, I simply put my head down and covered my eyes for those segments. I know
many of you are thinking, “it’s only a movie, don’t take it so seriously.” But
perhaps what I can say is my reaction is testimony to how really excellent the
story and acting were. I am not going to tell you how the story ends, because I
do not want to ruin anything for those of you who may have a chance to see it.
I went home wondering
why I had subjected myself to this particular torture, but by the next day,
with a little distance from the excruciating agony, I was able to start
recognizing just how amazing this film was. The film can be seen on many
levels, but is perhaps first and foremost a testimony to how much we humans
inevitably, at some point in our lives, need help navigating our way. For most
of is, it may not be as dramatic as being abandoned at sea. But whether due to illness
or accident or loss, we were not meant to go it completely alone. I have been
unbelievably fortunate to have Barry, my daughters, my sons-in-law, my
grandchildren, my doctors, and a large circle of friends to help me navigate
this new course I was forced to travel. With all of that help, I have continued
on my journey, ever hopeful that I will stay on course and arrive at whatever
destination I desire.
Love,
Rebecca
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